Negative Attachment: what is it and how to overcome it?

I invite you to imagine a world, a very distant reality, just imagine the world two million years ago. At this time the ways of life were very varied. According to the investigations carried out during history, it has been determined that these Paleolithic men They lived in small groups, they were nomads and they had a common objective within their small clan or family: survive.

This drive to survive was mediated by a basic emotion, one that we all know quite well, I'm talking about fear. Fear, one of our basic emotions, which has the function of sending chemical stimuli to our brain to generate an unwanted state, which motivates us to move to a safer place.

This search for the preservation of life is what caused the brain to create patterns where it could predict, where we would be safer or with advantages to prosper and survive. And it is like that almost by accident the attachments were born. That is, the conscious or unconscious impulse to keep or retain something or someone that we perceive as an advantage for our survival.

And due to the subjective nature of our construction of reality, they could eventually generate ideas or concepts of attachments that only had the appearance of functionality, although on the objective level they did not. were. This is how negative attachments could appear. All this has happened in the best breeding ground that exists... Time! 2 million years later, we can talk about what a negative attachment is.

• We recommend you read: "5 tips to build a healthy relationship"

What is a negative attachment?

Negative attachment is an unhealthy and dysfunctional form of attachment in a relationship.. It is characterized by extreme emotional dependence, insecurity and lack of autonomy. In a negative attachment, one person clings to the other in an unhealthy way, constantly seeking their approval and validation.

In a negative attachment, possessive behaviors, jealousy, excessive control and lack of trust can appear. There may be fear of losing the person to whom you are attached, which can lead to a dynamic of manipulation and lack of freedom.

A negative attachment can be detrimental to both parties involved, since it can generate toxic and unsatisfactory relationships. Acknowledging and addressing negative attachment is critical to building healthier, more balanced relationships..

Steps to overcome a negative attachment.

Overcoming attachment can be a complex procedure, however, it is feasible to achieve it. Here are some tips to overcome attachment:

• Be aware of your attachment: Recognize and accept that you have an attachment to something or someone. Understanding what makes you feel attached will help you work on it.
• Cultivate autonomy: Be sure to maintain your emotional independence and practice activities that make you feel good about yourself. Develop your own objectives and goals.
• Practice emotional detachment: Learn to let go and let go. Keep in mind that you cannot control others or their actions, and focus on yourself and your own happiness.
• seek emotional support: Get in touch with a therapist or seek the support of friends and loved ones in your process of overcoming the attachment. Sharing your emotions can help you process them.
• cultivate patience: It takes time and effort to overcome attachment. Be kind to yourself and allow the process to be smooth and effortless.

conclusions

In short, the antidote to attachment is to move in the direction of what you fear to lose, and discover that this fear is nothing more than an idealized creation of reality. And that much to your regret, the true responsibility of creating happy, safe and constructive spaces, are ours.

For example, you may fear driving alone or out, start driving short distances and gradually see increasing that distance, expanding the border of your fear, and give yourself the opportunity to experience the reality. That nothing bad will happen to you and that you can handle without having this person with you.

It is important to keep in mind that each individual is unique and the process of overcoming attachment may vary. If you feel you need additional help, don't hesitate to seek the assistance of a mental wellness specialist.. You are worth all the attention and care, you deserve everything good and beautiful in this life.