40 questions to detect psychological partner abuse

Unfortunately, couple relationships are not always healthy, and abuse is a phenomenon that occurs in some toxic relationships. In the article "Profile of the psychological abuser: 21 traits in common” We have already entered the psychological profile of an individual who exercises abuse. But… How can we know that we are victims of psychological abuse?

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Questions to know if you suffer psychological abuse from a partner

Below you can find a list of Questions that can help you know if you are a victim of this type of psychological abuse. In addition, they will allow you to reflect on the foundations of your relationship and perhaps help you realize that something is not working correctly.

1. Does he tell you how you have to dress? If you go in a way that he doesn't like, does he get mad at you for it and decide to change clothes? Are there clothes that you no longer wear because you know that they don't like that you go like this and you are going to have problems for it?

Abusive people are controlling and authoritarian. Their insecurity makes them toxicly jealous.

2. When you do something for your partner, does he or she thank you or make you feel like it's your obligation?

Manipulation frequently appears in psychological abuse, as you can see in the article “6 Manipulative Strategies Abusers Use”.

3. Are important decisions made without taking your opinion into account?

Manipulators are authoritarian people, who think they are always right in everything.

4. Do you control the money you spend? Do you have to ask your partner for the money? Do you ask permission when buying something, either for yourself or for the house?

In addition to controlling clothing, he also keeps track of expenses and finances.

5. Do you have to inform him of your schedules?

The person who is manipulative directs the life of his partner. It doesn't let you be free.

6. Do you downplay your personal or professional achievements?

He is not able to tell you how much you are worth, because He is interested in making you feel insecure or insecure and with low self-esteem.

• Related article: "Low selfsteem? When you become your own worst enemy"

7. Do you organize your free time? Do you feel that in leisure time you have to ask him what to invest your time in?

Control the way you dress, expenses and also your time.

8. When you have a problem, do you minimize it with comments like: that's nothing, do you complain about vice, etc.?

The abuser does not feel love towards you, although sometimes he disguises himself so that you remain hooked on his abuse.

9. Does it make you doubt your capabilities?

If you are insecure, it is easier for you to fall into their networks.

10. Count the times you do things you don't feel like or with which you disagree to avoid an argument

It is common for an abuser to throw things in your face to justify his attitude.

• You may be interested in: "Gaslighting: the most subtle emotional abuse"

11. Does it make you feel like you wouldn't know how to move on if you weren't by his side?

If you do not see yourself capable of leaving suffering behind, you will not do so and you will continue to be prey to their mistreatment.

12. Does your partner tell you that they will stop hitting you when you start behaving correctly?

It is frequent that, despite the fact that you are not at fault, he unjustifiably accuses you of his attitude.

13. Does he get angry if you spend more time with your friends or family than he considers necessary?

One of the ways to isolate yourself is making you feel bad having contact with your family and friends.

14. If you are in public, are you afraid to say what you think in case it brings consequences with your partner?

The abuser tries to make you feel guilty for even acting right.

15. Have you stopped telling your relationship problems to your environment because you know that if they found out they would be angry?

In the end, the relationship turns toxic. Trust is completely lost.

16. Does your partner monitor what you have been doing and not believe your answers?

Lack of trust also turns into distrust.

17. Do you control your mobile and your social networks?

Social networks are part of our day to day. That is why the abuser seeks to control them at all costs.

18. Do you feel uncomfortable if someone of the opposite sex looks at you in case your partner notices and could cause another argument?

sick jealousy they are part of the day-to-day life of a toxic relationship.

19. Does your partner criticize or embarrass you in front of other people?

He doesn't respect you, and he doesn't mind disrespecting you in front of others.

20. Is your partner jealous, with behaviors such as accusing you of having affairs?

Mistrust is very high in this type of relationship, and unsubstantiated accusations of infidelity can also be.

21. Do you often use emotional blackmail to achieve your goals?

Emotional blackmail is a weapon widely used by abusers. You can check it in the article “Emotional blackmail: a powerful form of manipulation in the couple”.

22. Does he treat you as if he were your father/mother instead of your partner?

Your relationship is not a love relationship based on respect.

23. Do you feel compelled or pushed to have sexual relations with your partner?

is such the dominance he exercises over you, that you feel obligated to please him.

24. Do you feel that you cannot be yourself when you are with your partner?

You fear his reaction and therefore your behavior changes.

25. Are you afraid of expressing an opinion that is different from your partner's?

Manipulative people are authoritarian and, therefore, their opinion is the only one that counts.

26. Do you feel that even without him being there, when you want to be yourself, do you think that maybe it bothers him and you stop doing the things you wanted?

His influence on you is so great that even without being present, you fear him.

27. Does it remind you a thousand times of the mistakes you have made?

He behaves like this to make you feel inferior and that your self-esteem suffers.

28. Do you feel guilty when you get sick?

Even when you're sick, you can't be yourself.

29. Have you stopped seeing your family or friends because of your partner's behavior?

He has tried to separate you from your family, and he has succeeded.

30. Do you watch what you do for fear that your partner will get angry or feel bad?

The fear of your partner is such that you behave just as he wants.

31. Has the way in which he addresses you changed, becoming imperative?

At first, the abuser may seem like a nice person, but over time, he brings out his true personality. To learn more about the subtle aspects of personality you can learn more in some of the works in this selection of books: "The 31 best psychology books that you cannot miss".

32. Do you feel afraid?

If you feel afraid of your partner, then you must react. Seek help from close people and professionals.

33. When there has been an argument, on most occasions you give in even though you are right because you could go days without speaking to you and making a vacuum?

Completely control your behavior, and you are no longer capable of being assertive.

34. Does he blame your friends for starting your arguments and push you away from them?

In an attempt to alienate your friends, he blames them for your arguments.

35. Do you feel anxious or nervous when you are around your partner?

Fear and anxiety manifest when you have to be close to your partner.

36. Do you go places and do activities you don't want to so he doesn't get upset?

You stop being yourself because you fear it.

37. Are you afraid of how to tell him some things because you know that his reaction may be disproportionate?

Not only do you go places you don't want to, but you also don't say what you think for fear of their reaction.

38. Do you feel like you need his approval in everything you do, or even think about?

You are not a free person, because you depend on him in every way. You can't even think freely.

39. If he has a problem outside of the scope of the couple, does he make you feel responsible for it?

makes you feel guilty even in situations that have nothing to do with your relationship.

40. Do you notice that when the same act is done by another person, they value it more positively than if you are the one doing it?

He treats you differently from others, and it can be very different with other people.