The 3 Types of Toxic Friends

Every time we hear more and more people around us commenting on relationships or affective loving relationships that are toxic. It seems that we have the radar activated to detect couples with such behaviors. But, what happens with toxic friends? We cannot forget that in friendship relationships there is also toxicity and it generates fear, anxiety and certain insecurities that are very difficult for us to detect.

Friends, like the couple, are chosen. Everyone has the freedom to choose who they want to know more, with whom they want to stay and with whom you feel comfortable enough to open up about your emotions and feelings more deep. This is the basis of a good friendship. Having people with whom you can really be vulnerable and show your most fragile part without feeling judged or criticized. It is important to have friends that you can trust and know that they will not use your wounds to manipulate or hurt you.

However, we may have close friends with whom we do not feel that way. In fact, he turns out to be a person who, every time we try to explain something, doesn't even listen to us, cuts off our sentences and prefers to talk about himself, judging us accordingly. immediately, he imposes on us what we should do, and finally, every time he needs support he calls us but when we need help he is not found available.

If you've felt identified so far, keep reading to discover the types of toxic friends that exist And of course, what to do when we detect that we are involved in these friendships. You may be surprised by how many behaviors we allow just because they are our “friends” and how hard it is for us to detect and then get out of these relationships.

types of toxic friends

In any of the cases that we will present below, we are talking about toxic friendship relationships. It is important to identify if any of them coincides with someone in your close circle in order to change the situation with this person. After all, maintaining a toxic friendship only leads to conflicts, low self-esteem and in some cases, emotional dependence.

1. Friend "garbage can"

The name does it justice as it refers to those people who believe that you are that bucket where they can throw everything they want when they are bad. Surely it has happened to you that a friend calls you at any time to vent and you kindly take the role of psychologist since you do it from friendship. You know that you have to be there for your friends, so when he calls, you answer him and you can spend a long time talking with this person. The problem appears when you begin to realize that this is not reciprocal. That is to say, if one day it is you who is wrong, he does not listen to you and many times, he does not answer your calls or messages.

After all, she shows you that she doesn't care what happens to you, she just cares what happens to himself. Such is the selfishness of this type of friendship that if one day they call you and you really can't attend to them, or simply don't want to, they get offended, they hurt you with his words making you feel guilty and they probably start talking bad about you to your backs. They expect you to be 100% available whenever they need to vent, but when the roles are reversed, it's not there for you.

• Related article: "What is prosocial behavior and how does it develop?"

2. "verbose" friend

The typical person who only talks about herself and never listens to you. He only talks about him or her and never listens. You can't help it, and it wears down the people around you a lot.

They are people we normally refer to as narcissists. They don't really realize it since from their point of view, they just talk and make conversation. They are not aware that everything they think and comment is about themselves. He may be a friend who is there when you need him, but the price to pay is that he starts talking about his things and doesn't stop until the meeting ends. As we mentioned, they are people who suck energy and wear out emotionally, therefore, psychology experts recommend reflecting on whether their friendship or if, on the contrary, it is too great a fatigue that generates anxiety or any symptom that indicates that our mental health is being seen harmed.

• You may be interested in: "6 guidelines to learn to say 'no'"

3. Friend "for interest"

As the name says, they are those friends who come to you because you have something that interests them. They make you feel that they admire you and that they want to help you in any way they can, and what they really want is to keep everything that belongs to you. It is quite difficult to detect but, for example, in large groups, it often happens that someone enters new one who tries with all his might to expel another person from the group, to stay with his place.

What to do once you spot a toxic friend

Detecting the toxic attitudes of others or even ourselves is an extremely complicated task. However, it is extremely important to carry out this exercise in order to be able to relate to ourselves and those around us in the healthiest way possible. There are keys to maintaining stable relationships that provide us with positive qualities throughout life and these are definitely not compatible with toxic relationships. Therefore, what should I do to get out of a toxic friendship relationship?

1. Get away as soon as possible

You should distance yourself from the people you have identified as toxic in all possible ways, that is, have zero contact. It is necessary to take extreme measures, therefore, if it is necessary to block them, change environments, activities, anything to never cross words with that person again. Keep in mind that it is a long and complicated process, and therefore, if you ever come across this person on the street, it is normal to feel restless, nervous. After all, the body and the brain detect a danger, and want to flee.

2. Learn from the situation

Psychologists say that after living an experience like this, It is very important to learn to prevent it from happening again in the future. It is common for you to feel sad, disappointed or even angry about the situation, so you should try to heal in the best possible way. If this means asking for psychological help, we invite you to do so. In addition, after cutting off the relationship with this type of person, we must take care of rebuilding our dignity and self-esteem, which have probably been damaged.

The most important thing is that you remember that a true friendship is based on balance and reciprocity. If this does not happen to you with that person and in fact, you feel that you are giving much more than what you receive, do not be confused and do not call it friendship. In short, a friendship relationship does not make you feel bad or threaten your personal well-being. Learn to identify certain behaviors and attitudes so as not to fall into toxicities and so you can avoid ending up paying increasingly higher prices.