Flirting with your eyes: how to do it successfully?

Do you think that it can be linked with the look, or that something more is necessary? In this article we offer you some keys to maximize the power of your gaze when it comes to awakening interest in another person, and when learning to modulate it.

In addition, at the end of the article we also analyze the interpretation that we can give to different reactions that the other person has when we look at them, and what message these may contain answers.

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The power of the gaze

They say that the look is a door to the soul. Through it we can know many things about the person who is looking at us... there are all kinds of looks, and these also change depending on the moment and / or the emotional state of the person. It is not the same to look with anger than to look with desire, with passion or with indifference ...

Thus, the information that a look can convey to us is enormous, especially if that look is sincere. This is so because the looks are usually very expressive, although it depends on the type of person. Eye contact is one of the weapons of seduction, which we use in many cases to transmit things to the other person and awaken something in them.

If we learn to use the gaze well, and accompany it with other aspects or actions that we will see in the this article, we can get to seduce someone effectively, or if not, to awaken her interest in U.S. Flirting with the eye, but it is not easy, and we must take into account a series of aspects.

First of all, clarify that this article in no way pretends to be a manual to flirt, far from it. Simply let's talk about the power of the gaze when it comes to seducing, and some aspects in relation to it that you can enhance so that it has a more marked effect on the other person.

On the other hand, when we talk about seducing, we also mean awakening the interest of another person, beyond a sexual or loving sense... although it is true that throughout the article we will refer frequently to the action of flirt.

Flirting with your eyes: how to do it effectively?

But, how to connect with the look? And above all, how to do it successfully? We are going to analyze some aspects that can help us to achieve this:

1. Attitude

The first thing that we must be clear about when connecting with the gaze is that the gaze that we project or that we direct to the other has to be accompanied by a attitude in us, and that this attitude must be in accordance with what we are trying to convey with our eyes. Simply "looking" is not the same as looking with desire or passion, for example.

Thus, the attitude has a lot to do with the purpose of our gaze and with the emotion that we want to transmit, as well as that we want to awaken in the other.

We must ask ourselves, what do we want to awaken in the other, exactly? Do we want to arouse interest? Wish? Curiosity? And based on this "adjust" our gaze. For this we can practice in the mirror.

2. Weather

On the other hand, the ideal is that the look that we give to another person lasts only a few seconds (even thousandths of seconds). That is, very long looks are not effective, because they can cause just the opposite effect, that the other person becomes overwhelmed or intimidated.

3. Intensity

Another aspect to take into account to link with the gaze is its intensity and how we modulate it. This characteristic is not easy to define, since how do we measure the intensity of a gaze? This is a matter, in a way, of common sense.

We can look very intensely (fixedly, without blinking, with an accompanying facial expression ...) or, at the opposite extreme, look "without further ado", in passing and without being too entertained.

So the intensity of flirting with the gaze also has to do with the duration of the gaze and with the facial expression as a whole, among others. Ideally, then, it will turn out to find a middle point in this intensity; for this we can practice in a mirror, for example.

4. Body language

The gaze is one of the elements of body language (within non-verbal language), but there are more.

So to link with the gaze effectively, we must also attend to other aspects of our body that accompany that look, so that they are consistent with it (that is, the ideal is that there is a certain harmony between our gaze and the rest of the Body).

We must think that the look largely defines our facial expression and our face, since it is one of its key points. Therefore, we must look at:

4.1. Smile

Do we want to accompany our gaze with a smile? If so, what type? A mischievous smile perhaps? Everything is important when it comes to flirting!

4.2. Position

What body posture will accompany that look? Ideally, it should be a natural posture, and never forced.

4.3. Gestures

What gestures will accompany our smile? We must also keep this aspect in mind and modulate it so that it is consistent with our gaze and with our expression. Let us remember that if the different elements of verbal language "agree", our message will arrive in a more effective way and also, in a more credible way.

4.4. Hands

The position of the hands is also important, although not always excessively. It all depends on the context in which we are flirting with the other person. Thus, it is not the same to stand as to sit, far as close, in a cinema as in a museum, etc.

5. Set your goal

But, nothing of the aforementioned is useful when it comes to flirting with the look if you do not previously set your "goal". This includes finding the time to look at that special someone; so, first of all you must get that crossing of glances.

How to interpret the other's reaction?

Okay, okay... we have put into practice our best look at that person who steals our sleep, but... what happened then? What has she done? Different situations can occur. We show you some of them and how to interpret them.

1. Keeps his gaze

It may be that, while we were looking at him, the other person also kept his gaze on ours. What can this mean? One possibility is that we have interested her, or at least, we have aroused a certain curiosity in her.

2. Withdraw your gaze

The opposite can also happen, and that is that you look away. Doing so right at the time of eye contact may indicate embarrassment or intimidation.

If you do it a little later, it may mean the same thing or simply that we have annoyed you or that you have no interest in us (although it is too early to judge). It will also depend on whether it was the first time we did it or not.

3. Withdraw your gaze and fix it again

If the other person withdraws their gaze, to fix it on us again, this may be an indicator of interest.

4. Look and smile game

On the other hand, when flirting with the look, if the other person reacts by "playing" with her look as well and accompanies him all of a smile, this seems to be a good indication that he likes you or, simply, that he has an interest in know you.

5. Avoid looking and don't look again

If the other person not only looks away once you make eye contact, but also avoids your gaze, and does not look at you again, this is a probable indication that he has no interest for you.

Logically, this and the previous tips should be analyzed in their global context and taking into account other aspects of the interaction, so they are only intended to provide guidance when interpreting the staring game and the reaction of the another person.

Bibliographic references

• Baró, T. (2012). The great guide to non-verbal language. Editorial Paidos. Barcelona.

• Cruz-Díaz, R. (2003). From what the looks say. Communicate: Ibero-American Scientific Journal of Communication and Education, 20: 188-194.

• Pease, A. and Pease, B. (2011). The language of the body. Editorial Amat.

• Poyatos, F. (1994). Non-verbal communication I and II. Madrid, Isthmus.