The 15 signs of psychological abuse in a relationship
How many women have started a relationship in love with an apparently charming person... so that a some time later, they will discover behind that mask someone truly cruel capable of turning her life into a real nightmare? So are the psychological abusers, offering their best version during the conquest, and later turning the relationship into a prisonn of suffering.
If you want to know how these types of people act in their relationship, here are 15 signs that can tell you if you are suffering this type of abuse.
15 Signs of psychological abuse in a relationship
Hopefully while you read these signs you do not feel identified:
1. It crushes you psychologically if you arouse interest in the opposite sex
One of the most characteristic and common traits of psychological abusers is blaming yourself for arousing attraction in other men even though you show no interest in those other people.
When it happens, he feels very insecure because he feels that his role in your life is in danger, even if there are no real reasons for it. However, instead of acknowledging their unfounded fear, they act by focusing their discomfort on you and blaming you for triggering such situations.
In these cases, the psychological abusers condition the way your partner dresses or if you wear makeup. He will try by all means that he stops being attractive in the eyes of others, including in his way of being; If you are a nice, warm and sociable person, they will find a way to prevent you from showing yourself naturally to other people.
2. He isolates you from your family and friends
You feel that since you are with him, your healthy friendships and relationships with your family are getting cold; You may have stopped talking to those people often on the phone, that the possibilities you had before do not arise to see you... and you feel as if everything is mysteriously changing, so that you can enjoy these people less and less.
Behind these distances there are constant bad faces or criticism when you mention someone you appreciate. Or simply, your partner becomes the uncomfortable and unpleasant guest who ends up spoiling the moments shared with the rest of your loved ones. Because the reality is that he tries to boycott your connection with anyone other than himself and it is his way of achieving it.
3. Control everything that connects you to the world
It can be about your mobile, your email or perhaps your social networks, although it can also be about your expenses or the use you make of your free time. The point is that you have the feeling (or the certainty) that you need his approval whatever he doess, and your constant supervision.
The reason is that they do not trust you, of course, even if there is no reason why you have shown them that they can fully trust your way of being and acting.
It's probably him the person who deserves the least trust.
4. Pathological jealousy
It is one thing to have a feeling of jealousy in certain situations in which it would be normal, such as perceiving that your partner is fooling around with someone, and quite another to pathological lattice reaction to any interaction that person has with others of the opposite sex.
When psychological abusers begin to present this type of attitudes, be very careful, because normally this type of reaction goes hand in hand with violence.
5. Fear of telling your problems to your environment
Have you stopped opening up to people you trust when it comes to talk about your emotions and your experiences as a couple? Do you feel that even without him being present you feel self-conscious when it comes to verbalizing your concerns or talking about his recurring outbursts?
What is behind this concealment of reality is fear; his reaction and the consequences if he finds out.
6. When he speaks out on you, he does it just to criticize you
Perhaps it was not like that at first, when he showed his face with his kindest and most seductive of him, but since you are together as a couple he does not stop berating you for your mistakes or bringing out your flaws (or rather, what he considers to be flaws).
In the minds of psychological abusers, there is no option to provide you with elements that can positively contribute to your self-esteem, because he really loves you as a docile and submissive person. To do this, undermining your self-confidence is one way to achieve it.
7. Make you believe that you couldn't fend for yourself
It has probably made you doubt even your abilities and your personal worth, even of your self-sufficiency. It is possible that he has even looked for a way to prevent you from being financially independent to prevent you from marching on his side because of the inability to fend for yourself.
Try to reaffirm yourself in your way of being, in how you perceived yourself before he appeared in your life, in the way that people who love you and know you well see you. And don't let your own vision of yourself distort you or stop defending your self-reliance. Whoever loves you well, does so by loving your best version of yourself, not destroying it.
8. Pay with you their external problems to the relationship
It is almost a hallmark of psychological abusers: They turn all their anger on the person they trust the most, what are you. The worst thing about this is the perversion with which they respond to your complaint that this happens: That they try to sell you that that is also being for your partner in bad times.
Don't be fooled, it is one thing to listen to him and give him your support and quite another to receive the bad manners and anger that have to do with his conflicts with other people or situations.
9. He punishes you with his violent explosion and then with his indifference
His constant mood swings of unpredictable origin are followed by reactions of great verbal and gestural violence with which it makes you feel attacked even if it does not transcend the physical plane. And if that weren't enough, after making you feel terrible, without understanding what happened, he can spend days ignoring you or treating you with contempt.
In the end, you stop knowing what to say or what to do so as not to provoke more situations like that that leave you emotionally devastated, which means that you stop behaving and expressing yourself freely.
Don't ask yourself what you have done. You have probably done absolutely nothing, much less reprehensible, but don't expect a normal reaction or logic from your partner. In any case, it is not up to you to look for solutions or ask yourself how to improve things next time. In him the problem begins and ends. Do not forget.
10. You inhibit your greatest virtues because they are precisely what irritates him the most
The reason is simple: psychological abusers don't want you to shine in your own light, that's why they try to turn you off.
He probably won't show up like that at first., during the first stage in which he was trying to seduce you and you could see how he was attracted to all those aspects of you that make you special.
But precisely because he is aware of your charms that he tries by all means to hide them from the view of others. It especially irritates him that someone other than him makes a positive assessment of you. Do not forget that he wants you annulled and for this, he tries to undermine your self-esteem.
11. You feel self-conscious talking to him because his reactions are unpredictable and explosive
What for any person is normal, healthy and inherent in a good relationship, such as fluid communication, open and without taboos, is a utopia for you.
And is that when your partner can go from normal to yelling, cynicism and degradation when you say something that would be normal and innocuous for anyone else, you feel as if you are constantly on a minefield; You do not know how to move or where to step because everything can explode in the air.
In the end, he achieves his goal; You neither express yourself nor do you feel courageous to act without his consent. Don't get into that game. Do not allow him to destroy your freedom of expression.
12. He addresses you with orders and with disdain
Nothing to ask, suggest or consult. He believes he has the power to order you to do whatever he wants, as if the world revolves around him and there is no other option than to satisfy his own desires.
What's more, uses a tone in which contempt is enclosed, because he really considers you below him, or at least believes that by doing so he positions you at that level (which is where he wants to have you).
13. You can't count on their support
Never. Never. If you have a problem... it's not that much of a problem. And if it is, you'll get by, even if it has to do with him.
As well as he feels the certainty and security that he deserves that you go out of your way to help him, meet his needs and hope to see you proactive in what concerns him, it is also just as Obvious in his understanding to think that your problems are something that should not alter his wellness.
14. The only way to avoid an argument is for you to give in, and soon
Once he has made it clear to you what the consequences of coming into conflict with him are, by his bad ways, his yelling and other forms of abuse that he has started on those occasions, he will expect you to fear his reaction and try to avoid arguments or anything that could trigger them.
And if the conflict has already occurred, he will assume that it is you who will have to give up, and also do it soon if you do not want his reaction to be more explosive.
15. You don't really know why, but you feel a great sense of injustice and abuse in your relationship with your partner.
If this is your case, perhaps your situation is even worse, since it is a type of perverse violence in which psychological abusers cover up all kinds of grievances in a sibylline way, so that it is very difficult for the abused person to explain it to his trusted environment.
In any case, if you perceive traits of your partner among these signs typical of psychological abusers, seek advice as soon as possible and request help to safely get out of a situation that endangers your personal integrity.
