The 14 most common problems in relationships
Jul 15, 2021
Life as a couple is a challenge, there is no doubt about it. It is not always a fairy tale where the days are fun and rosy. There are times when the strength of both is tested to face difficulties that put the relationship in check.
Remember that the existence of problems or arguments is not necessarily a synonym that the relationship does not works, but they are moments in which the ability of both to solve them, learn from them and continue go ahead.
Thus, in this article we will emphasize the importance of resolving conflicts as a couple and show you which are the most common and which most affect coexistence. Have you been through any of them?
Why is it important to solve relationship problems?
Many people mistakenly believe that a perfect relationship is one where there are no arguments of any kind and where both can coexist in peace, pleasing the other. However, this is out of the question. Every couple goes through numerous disagreements that arise as a product of adapting to being in a new relationship and the little misunderstandings of the day to day.
This is because, despite a great love involved, both people are still unknown and, therefore, their ways of life, beliefs, ideals and positions are different. So when they come into contact, it is normal for there to be a certain rejection of something that can be considered a ‘Imposition’, that is why negotiations are carried out to reach a middle point where both can leave benefited.
Most common problems that exist in couples
Now that you know the importance of resolving couple conflicts, It is time for you to know which are the most common that are generated.
1. Frequent clashes
Although it is common for there to be continuous differences in the couple, when they pass to a greater degree and turn into strong confrontations is synonymous with a greater problem developing.
It is a sign that there is little trust, poor communication and lack of adaptation in the couple, causing in the future stress to accumulate, increase the intensity and reasons for the fights, reaching difficulties in solving them due to lack of motivation and boredom.
2. Bad communication
Communication problems are the most common conflicts in the couple and, although they are the most expected, they are also the first to bring the relationship to an end. Maintaining a good dialogue is essential to be able to express emotions that both feel about something specific, in addition to making their opinions, disagreements known and handling appropriate negotiations to obtain favorable results for both.
However, when there is no good communication, either because empathy is not shown, because one's needs are always placed above or because the emotional blackmail. Misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts are generated that are very difficult to resolve because there is no willingness to reach an agreement.
There are those who believe that jealousy is a sign of the love that one person has towards another, since he is in constant fear of losing her and only wants his full attention for himself, but... What happens when the freedom of the other person is thereby limited? So that's when people see the negative side of jealousy.
The truth is that Jealousy is a natural response of the body to a threatBut once you talk about it, the discomfort is reduced. However, in some people insecurity only grows with each act of their partner, reaching mistrust and harassment towards privacy and even, in more extreme cases, the violence.
4. Own insecurities
Speaking of insecurities These are also common causes that lead to recurring conflicts in relationships.. It is normal for a person to feel uncomfortable or untrustworthy at the beginning of a relationship, as he is adjusting to it. But when it is maintained for long periods of time, the couple feels as if they are walking on thin ice, avoiding bringing up topics or doing actions that may annoy the other.
This can also lead the couple to distance themselves, avoid creating plans for the future, create tendencies towards victimization not to take responsibility or accuse the other of not being empathetic enough to understand and make the person feel safe other. Remember that achieving happiness is the responsibility of both of you and you should start by giving yourself self-love, instead of submitting all the responsibility to your partner.
5. Unrealistic expectations
Unrealistic expectations are the main source of disappointment in the couple, since they feel that they have not fulfilled their role as they supposed or imagined they should. However, it is not a fault or deception of the other person, but a fallacy that have been created in their mind about what their partner should do and what they should give them, even when there were no promises or behaviors that indicated it.
These unrealistic expectations can generate not only arguments and disagreements in the couple, but they can also become unfaithful, in search for 'something better' that they probably won't find, as reality will never fit the image of perfection in their mind.
6. Difference between values
Values are very important to each person, since it is the way in which they perceive how to relate in their environment. However, the couple may not share the same values and that can lead to significant arguments and differences. It can be an impediment, especially, when it comes to starting a family and raising children, since they will not be able to reach an agreement about the 'best way' to do it.
Another conflict that originates is the disrespect for the personal opinion of the other and the little openness to reach a middle point, because the eigenvalues are considered to be the correct ones and the only ones willing to to accept.
7. Little timeshare
Couples need to spend quality time alone, This helps reinforce intimacy, trust and getting to know each other. in a much deeper area, as they become familiar with the way of perceiving the other's world, their customs, routines, hobbies, the strengths that both possess and the weaknesses to work with.
But when this time-share does not exist or the solitary time of each is given higher priority, this adaptation does not occur and the relationship reaches a point of stagnation due to the distance generated.
8. Bad interaction with family
Getting along with the couple's family is a necessary aspect For the relationship itself to work, however, this is not always possible and thus multiple problems arise.
The family is the main nucleus of a person, so it is necessary to get involved with them to create a sense of belonging. When it is not possible to do so, the person may feel perpetually uncomfortable with in-laws, refuse to be close to them, or become upset when their partner spends time with her family.
9. Sexual dissatisfaction
Sexuality is a necessary and essential element in the life of a couple, because through this, intimacy, trust and a more personal bond with the other can be generated. Therefore, when there are problems at a sexual level, it inevitably ends up affecting all areas of the coexistence as a couple, since it creates distancing, withdrawal and can even be a factor for the emergence of infidelities.
That is why it is always necessary to speak directly with the couple about what they like to do in the bed, what they would like to try, the fantasies and insecurities they may have to be resolved. You should never create taboos or silence the discomfort about sex in the couple.
10. Lack of support
Your partner should be your partner, your guide, your handkerchief of tears, your unconditional support in all projects that you want to do in your life and vice versa, since it should encourage you to be better every day and celebrate your achievements. So, When this kind of support does not exist in the couple, it is very common for one of them to be demotivated, disappoint and end the relationship, because you feel that instead of moving forward you are only stagnating.
11. Different projections for the future
Formal relationships always have a common goal that they want to fulfill together in the future. But this does not always happen in all couples, since each one can have dreams or goals that go in completely different directions. This can lead to the breakdown of the couple if a mutual agreement is not reached on the actions to take that can benefit both of them.
12. Poor economic management
The economy is a sensitive point in the coexistence of a couple, since it becomes a responsibility to assume daily and any expense can represent a difficulty for the economic balance. Therefore, when there are no agreements on the management of the financial environment in common, the money of the other is not respected or only one spouse assumes responsibility for the financial maintenance of the home, conflicts arise that can be difficult to resolve.
13. Past traumatic events
The past weighs heavily on our perception of the world and also in the way we maintain our personal relationships, affecting and weakening them.
It is important to clarify that, if a person is not ready to have a relationship due to a bad experience previous experience or is constantly insecure about herself, she may not be able to maintain good quality as partner. And this is so because their fears, discomforts or resentments will be manifested in the relationship.
Although it is necessary for couples to maintain an adaptable routine to be able to generate a good coexistence between them and their lifestyle, the fact that there are no changes or dynamism in the day to day can get boring both and even to generate the feeling that there is already love, interest or importance between the couple. This can lead to conflict, guilt and infidelity that undermine the good harmony that existed in the past.