The 9 differences between love and infatuation

It is common that many times we talk about love and falling in love, two terms that can be confused and seem synonymous but they are not. Therefore, in this article we will explain what these differences are and the correct meaning of each of these concepts.

Differences between infatuation and love

We also tend to think that love is related to the romantic, but this is not always the case. In the following lines you can find the differences between both phenomena.

1. Obsession, desire and addiction

Falling in love is a very intense feeling that can develop quickly and has a lot to do with it. see with the neurochemical cascade that occurs in our brain and that we explain in our article “The chemistry of love: a very powerful drug”.

Neurotransmitters such as dopamine, the serotonin wave noradrenaline, so it is often said that love (in reality it should be falling in love) is like a drug.

Falling in love usually produces very intense emotions and the person undergoes a kind of transformation in which the perception of it changes. That is why they say that falling in love is blind, because the person idealizes the one in love with her / her, does not stop thinking about him or her and feels full of energy. But this stage has a certain duration, and the brain, as with drugs, gets used to it. It is there where relationships continue to live or not, where the most mature and rational love is demonstrated and where it is necessary to work so that the couple does not break up.

2. Different ways of loving

We tend to use love and infatuation interchangeably. While love and falling in love are not the same, neither is everything romantic love. There are, for example, mother's love and self-love. I mean, there are different ways of loving.

In addition, in couple relationships they can also be characterized by different kinds of love, as explained the triangular theory of love proposed by the psychologist Robert Sternberg, which you can learn about in our Article "Sternberg's triangular theory of love”.

3. Rationality

Both love and falling in love are complex phenomena just like loving interpersonal relationships. Since in infatuation the emotions are very intense and the neurochemical cascade that affects the perception of individuals occurs, also It is usually a more irrational phenomenon, in which the lover sees her partner as perfect, maximizing her positive attributes and minimizing her defects. However, love is more rational and the person does not feel that immense desire and obsession to be with the other person.

4. Over time

Falling in love can appear shortly after meeting the person, because expectations, physical attraction intervene, the mystery, etc. Love, on the other hand, is a motivation that takes time to appear and has more to do with affection and communication.

5. Picture of perfection

As love is more rational, it does not create that idyllic image of the other person. On the other hand, falling in love makes us feel “drugged”, constantly thinking about the other or the other, the one we have on a pedestal. If you want to know the difference between falling in love and mature love, you can read our article "Mature love: why is the second love better than the first?”.

6. Live in a cloud

When we meet someone and live the stage of infatuation, it seems that we are in a cloud. It is similar to being in a mania phase and our perception of life is positive.

That person makes us feel in full rush, as if time did not pass. However, when we love someone, we feel great love for that person, but we do not necessarily feel in a cloud, as its presence no longer triggers the intense reactions it triggered during the infatuation.

7. Depth or shallowness

Since falling in love tends to appear faster and more intensely than love, on many occasions it can be more superficial than love. Falling in love is characterized by being such an intense love that even madness can take over us.

Love, on the other hand, has more to do with the depth of feelings, because it is purer and sanity predominates in it. After falling in love, love can come, but sometimes not.

8. Selfishness vs genuine intentions

Due to the depth of feelings, love also tends to produce deeper and more genuine intentions. You just have to think about mother and child love.

9. Infatuation as a phase of love

Some authors affirm that romantic love has a series of phases. The initial phase would refer to falling in love, and according to Dorothy Tennov, this phase is called Limerencia. It is a stage in which lust, illusion and the strong desire to be with the other person predominate. Euphoria and positive mood are characteristic. So are obsession, fantasy thoughts, and fear of rejection.

• You can know more about the stages of love in our article "The 3 phases of love and their characteristics”

What does science say about love and falling in love?

Psychologists, sociologists and doctors have been interested in this complex phenomenon, to try to decipher what are its motives, how it occurs and what are its main characteristics.

But… What does science say about love and falling in love? If you want to know the results of the latest scientific research in this regard, which allow us to decipher the great mystery of the influence of love and falling in love on our brain and our behavior, you can read our article "Love and infatuation: 7 surprising investigations”.