How not to flirt: 11 things you should never do to seduce

How not to flirt? What are the most common mistakes when trying to seduce another person? The need, the afraid and lack of experience lead us to make mistakes that can make our dates or our first encounters with girls not entirely fruitful or even total failures.

These errors lead us to "mis-link": we do not connect with the other person.

How not to flirt: 11 things you should not do when it comes to seducing

Taking into account certain factors and trying to avoid them will minimize our chances of failure. Limiting our mistakes and being aware that certain attitudes are not valid will increase our possibilities of success and, consequently, it will encourage us to have positive experiences that will motivate us to continue learning.

Next we will expose eleven errors that tend to be synonymous with failure or that greatly limit our chances of success. How not to flirt?

1. Want to impress

Being too focused on wanting to impress the girl in front of us can be counterproductive. It is advisable that we relax and try to enjoy ourselves without the need to fall into the false spontaneity of doing or saying

awesome things so that she is attracted to us.

Unless the context is appropriate and certain behaviors are encouraged, we must act naturally and be calm and relaxed. Only in this framework can we be able to impress without having the constant need to prove anything to anyone.

2. Need to be admired

This point is closely linked to the first. Wanting to impress is a problem but if afterwards we are awaiting her reaction and her approval or her impression, we will be transmitting a need image and lack of confidence in what we do. In our head, we always have to keep in mind that the only person we have to impress is ourselves. We do not need the approval of anyone and less if it is excessive or required. We are not a small child showing our mother a picture.

In addition, she does not have to be interested in what we do or do not do. Let's do things because they really make us feel good and not to receive a feedback positive that reveals to others that we are demigods. Let's not fall for it egocentrism.

3. Being funny and not knowing when to get serious

One of the phrases that has done the most damage to social relationships and seduction in particular, is that of "girls like to be made to laugh." We all like to be made to laugh! We do not let's become buffoons who try to make them laugh at all costs.

There are times when we have to get serious and show that we are mature people who know how to behave in all kinds of contexts. The sense of humor must be reserved for the necessary moments. There is nothing less attractive than causing embarrassment by an excess of "clowning."

4. Be aware of liking and looking for indicators of interest

Obsessively looking for gestures or attitudes that reveal their interest in us will cause us to focus our perception excessively and forget other important details for communication such as active listening. Also, being obsessed with looking for immediate results it will undermine our self esteem and it will make us uncomfortable.

This will cause us to invest too much effort in adopting behaviors or attitudes waiting to be rewarded and will project us as insecure or in need of approval. It is more beneficial to forget about ourselves and focus on making them feel understood and comfortable with us.

5. Be aware of not wanting to make mistakes

We have to bear in mind that, many times, the art of communicating lies in forgetting oneself and in focusing attention on the qualities of the other to be able to communicate and qualify them properly. Judge us constantly by what we do and by how our actions are going to be received by the other person will hinder our communication and plunge us into stress Y anxiety counterproductive for the interaction to flow harmoniously.

There are no absolute truths or totally wrong actions. Making a mistake will humanize us and it will cause us to be perceived as close and self-confident people who know how to relativize errors.

6. Hide your flaws

Before assuming that any of our attributes can be called default, let's think about whether or not it is. Many times we tend to think that we have defects that we don't really have or that cannot always be considered defects, because context plays a very important role in communication. If, after having analyzed them, we continue to think that they are defects, we should think about whether they are defects that can be remedied or should be remedied.

It is true that certain disabilities or physical defects cannot be remedied or cannot be completely remedied. But there are many that do. For example, go on a diet It is an effective way to combat that belly that makes us feel flabby. Another example: if we have a serious acne problem we can go to a specialist to be able to eliminate those undesirable pimples that do not appear on the face. Whether or not it solves our problem, we cannot allow this to affect our a self-esteem and therefore to our communication.

Treating our flaws naturally and even joking about them will project us as confident people who are not afraid to show their weaknesses. Joking about our flaws is the fundamental key to overcome shyness and that others do not detect unattractive insecurities in us.

7. Fear of being contrary

Changing your mind for fear of not liking it is a mistake that we often make. Being accepted and not feeling socially rejected leads us to never want to be contrary. Work assertiveness it will be very useful when communicating. Let us bear in mind that our opinions and attitudes are extremely valuable sources of information for our interlocutor. Always falling into the error of not wanting to offend or contradict and, therefore, adopting servile attitudes will make us lose our attractiveness and make us seem like people without opinion or objectives: it is the abc how not to flirt.

Our attitude also has to be evolutionary in relation to the other person; we must establish a framework in which two people value each other but do not judge each other.

8. Idealize the other person

The romantic love it is one of the great evils of the 21st century. We live intoxicated by movies and stories where we are shown a sweetened love and that makes us have learned social relationships and seduction contexts, as if we lived in Romeo and Juliet. We do not live in a romance novel. She has flaws like everyone else.

If we believe that the person in front of us is perfect and that he or she has no defects, we will fall into errors that we have already pointed out before, such as wanting to hide our defects, the need to approval... Knowing how to observe and qualify the mistakes and virtues of others will be a very important key to prevent us from feeling that the girl in front of us is the goddess Venus made a person.

9. Have unrealistic expectations

We have the social and communication skills that we have. Being aware of this will help us not to fantasize excessively about what could happen. We have to be patient. As we meet people and develop our skills we will feel more capable of getting what we want.

It is a mistake to think that if a girl has smiled at us it is because she is tremendously in love with us and she wants to make love to us on a glass bed, by the sea while the moon illuminates our bodies naked. If, on the other hand, a girl smiles at us and we think that she has done it because she has been amused or because perhaps she is a little interested it will be more beneficial to our self-esteem and we will avoid major failures that cause us to fall into frustration and a consequent demotivation.

10. Do not sexualize

We have been chatting for more than three hours, everything is going wonderfully, we like the girl, we feel that she likes us, but there is a moment when she gets bored and things don't progress. Perhaps it is time to give the interaction a little push with some phrases that let us understand our sexual interest.

There are times when we become obsessed when things have to arise spontaneously and we forget that things can be born spontaneously in us but that, if we do not verbalize or express them, they will remain in us without anyone having any idea that they have emerged. Let's communicate our interest appropriately and don't be afraid to show our sexual interest. Sex is good!

11. Sexualizing too much

Insinuate yourself excessively And not stopping making comments that indicate our sexual interest can make the other person uncomfortable and we may be giving the message that we only have an interest in one thing. We can make the mistake of appearing extremely needy or insecure people who are afraid that their interlocutor is not there. understood the message that we have sent him and, therefore, we repeat it ad nauseam: this is one of the keys on how not to flirt.

Let's dose our sexual interest And let's show it gradually and appropriately to be able to move forward without the other person feeling forced or annoyed by so many spicy comments that often end up being in bad taste. In this case, let's look again at the context in which we are to adjust the intensity and degree of insinuation.

In conclusion...

Let's not get obsessed with liking it. Let us know how to be in all contexts of life. Let's like ourselves more to please others. Let's be mature people who face life's obstacles in a mature and assertive way. Let's not become puppets at the mercy of a little handout in the form of sex. Let's be happy with who we are!