Mixed couples: what are they and why have they become popular

The conformation of mixed couples, that is, those in which there are significant cultural differences between its members (such as country, religious beliefs, language or ethnicity), has had a considerable increase in recent times.

This growth is attributed in the first place to the fact that the possibilities of meeting people from other countries have increased. due to the intensification of international mobility and the massification of communication through the Internet. In addition to the above, a series of social transformations have been taking place in the love sphere that allow greater people quotas of freedom and autonomy when making the marital choice.

Migration for love

Migration in which one of the main motivations is to form a couple or a family is called by some social researchers as migration for love.

This migratory typology is described as a diverse and complex phenomenon that transcends simplifications and prejudices with which it is usually conceived from common sense.

A basically female phenomenon

Different ethnographic studies highlight that women express their feelings much more frequently than men and the desire to start or establish a relationship with a partner has been one of the main reasons for geographic displacement. This is attributed to the fact that there are still structural conditions for man to function as a provider in a family and it is the woman who prioritizes the care of the children and the home, leaving their development in the background professional.

Therefore, it is more common for a woman to leave her country and emigrate to the country of her partner or to accompany her partner on a migration for work reasons.

Migration for love is described then as predominantly female and is directed mainly from regions of the Caribbean, Latin America, Eastern Europe and Southeast Asia to rich countries in Western Europe, North America and the Asia-Pacific region. The ease of mobility for European citizens within the EU has also led to a significant increase in the formation of intra-European binational couples.

Mixed couple modalities and their reasons

The differences between people of different cultural origins can be softened or intensified if they share or differ in other characteristics such as: urban or rural lifestyle, educational level, professional environment, social class, etc. Sometimes, even though people come from different countries, share many other factors resulting in more elements of affinity than of distinction.

For anthropology it is a verifiable fact that in all cultures people tend to bond with members of their own group and that bonding with others is an exception. The choosing a partner that belongs to another culture can be interpreted as a transgression of one's own culture and family ideals, since a foreigner will transmit values ​​different from their own.

In binational mixed couples, country borders are transcended, but the most usual thing is that the borders of socioeconomic class and educational level continue to be maintained. It is also possible to observe the existence of a kind of hierarchy of cultural distances, in which certain nationalities or groups of emigrants are considered more or less likely to be chosen as partner. In this hierarchy would be located the nationalities that would be considered totally incompatible, even those that are admired in their practices and customs.

The exchange of status

Although in smaller proportions, sometimes in mixed couples socioeconomic boundaries or educational level are also transcended. In these cases, an exchange of status can be filed. This is the case of people from rich countries (high status) with low educational level (low status) who marry people from poor countries or those belonging to marginalized minorities (low status), who have an educational level high.

The exchange can be given for any element that can be considered as a guarantor of status in a person: beauty, age, social category, a nationality that has a certain prestige, etc.

Sociology highlights that statistically men tend to marry more frequently hypogamically than women. That is, with a partner with a lower socioeconomic level. And, therefore, women tend to marry more frequently in a hypergamic way, that is, with a man who has a higher socioeconomic level. This is also true for mixed couples, although the educational level achieved by women in recent decades is making the statistical difference less and less wide.

It has also been observed that as the educational level increases, the probabilities of forming a couple with people from different countries also increase. Greater inbreeding (that is, the tendency to maritally bond with people of the same culture) occurs more intensely in people with a strong religious observance.

The mixed couple as resistance to transformations in gender relations

It is relevant that, according to different investigations, motivations that have to do with gender are expressed by men and women who decide to establish a relationship with a person foreign.

Gender-related motivations are much more evident in the case of men from rich countries who are looking for a partner abroad, as well as in the women of those countries where these men focus their search. It is stated in relation to the above that the material and sentimental independence acquired by women in more industrialized countries has generated resistance from some men with respect to this new model feminine.

This resistance prompts them to look for a partner in a marriage market different from that of their own country, opting for nationalities in which it is assumed that women maintain a more traditional role. That is keep family and home a priority over their profession, and that they would accept gender relations based on a certain degree of submission and dependence. This stereotype is given, for example, to women from Latin American or Eastern European countries.

The search for a more traditional woman is more pressing in men over 40 years of age, in the youngest the prototype of the submissive woman and A housewife is less appealing, with other factors influencing more as motivators to establish a relationship with a partner. foreign.

Longing for polarized gender roles

Some men justify their desire to seek relationships with more traditional women by conflict and tensions that according to them generated the independence obtained by women in their relationships previous.

Longing for gender roles more polarized is also present in some women from industrialized countries who state that part of their interest in a foreign partner It is the desire to associate with men whose way of being is closer to a certain stereotype of traditional masculinity: chivalrous, romantic, passionate, seductive. This type of stereotype is given, for example, to men from Mediterranean or Latin countries. The polarization of the genders in these cases is seen as a value of complementarity and also as part of the sexual stimulus.

Marriage with a foreigner as a search for equality

Paradoxically, for many of the Latin American or Eastern European women one of the main motivations for establishing a relationship with a foreign man is the desire to acquire equal shares and emancipation that they do not find in their own context. These women describe gender relations in their countries as more subordinate and unequal than they assume that they occur at the destination of their migration.

The men of their own country are described as more like macho, controlling, possessive, unfaithful and aggressive. They consider these aspects to be rooted in their own culture, and they believe that they are present in a much lower intensity in the men of the destination country. Some of the women also express their desire to distance themselves from previous experiences of abuse and alcoholism of their ex-partners. In these cases, gender polarization is seen as a manifestation of oppression and inequality..

The physical aspect: the ideal and the exotic

The predominant physical appearance in some nationalities is the object of attributions that nurture the fantasies of men and women, also becoming a factor that influences as a motivator to establish a relationship with a foreign person. It is, in part, the attributions on the sexuality of certain population groups.

Research carried out on international matchmaking agencies that operate over the internet account for the foregoing. This is the case, for example, of those specialized in Latin American or Eastern European women who highlight the physical characteristics that are supposed to be valued by potential “boyfriends”. One would be the ideal Nordic type (tall, blonde, blue eyes, slim) or the exotic type referring to Latin American women (brunettes, curvy and sensual).

Marriage as a way to improve living conditions

The cultural model of the couple that predominates in the West is based on the ideal of a relationship established by free love. and spontaneous, detached from any calculation or interest. Therefore, the motivations of a material nature, which are sometimes interwoven with the sentimental ones, They are usually much more veiled in the speeches of women who decide to formalize a relationship with a Foreign.

On many occasions, the countries from which people who emigrate for love come are characterized by having high rates of job insecurity, insecurity or other aspects that promote the search for better employment conditions lifetime. Marriage with a foreign person is one strategy among others of being able to settle in a place that offers better opportunities.

Despite this expectation, people with high levels of training run into bureaucratic obstacles to be able to perform in the field of their profession and they are forced to do jobs that do not require qualification.

Social pressure in mixed couples

One of the situations with which many of the migrants for love are usually confronted is with the resistance of the family and friends of their partners who accuse them directly or indirectly of marrying for economic interest or to legalize residence in the country. Many of them narrate that they constantly have to be showing that their marriage is based on feelings and that it has not only had an instrumental character. Some women consider the arrival of the couple's first child as a milestone of legitimation.

In relation to the above, it has been observed that women who migrate for love do not usually seek to establish links with emigrants of the same nationality in the place of destination. Such distancing is sometimes encouraged by their local partners responding to the desire to make a difference with economic migration and the stigmas that surround them.

Bibliographic references:

• Gaspar, S. (2009). Integration and social satisfaction in intra-European mixed couples, Discourse and Society, 16, 68-101.
• Roca Girona, J. (2011). [Re] looking for love: Reasons and reasons for the mixed unions of Spanish men with foreign women. Journal of Dialectology and Popular Traditions, 2011, vol. LXVI, No. 2, p.487-514.
• Roca Girona, J. (2007). Migrants for love. The search and formation of transnational couples. Aibr. Journal of Ibero-American Anthropology, 2007, vol. 3, No. 2, p. 430-458.
• Roca Girona, J.; Soronellas, M. and Bodoque, Y. (2012). Migrations for love: Diversity and complexity of migrations of women. Papers, vol. 97, No. 3, p. 685- 707.
• Rodríguez-García, D. (2014). About transnational kinship: contextualization and theoretical-methodological considerations. AIBR-Journal of Ibero-American Anthropology, 9 (2): 183-210.