The myth of the better half: no partner is ideal

The expectations we form for our partner and the irrational beliefscan cause great anxiety and create many disappointments. What if I missed the train and it was my only chance to be happy? Why is my partner not responding to my needs? Why haven't I found my better half yet?

That is why knowing how to manage a relationship is also, in part, knowing how to adapt to reasonable expectations so as not to fall into a fundamentalism of the romantic that drags us and the other person. Let's see how to achieve this goal.

Burying the myth of the better half

First of all, it's worth it stop and reflect on the myth of the better half so that this idea does not condition us. This vision of love relationships leads us to consider someone as an extension of our own body, something without which we cannot function well since we are not complete.

The image of the better half not only serves to question our ability to serve ourselves and become an autonomous subject and with the capacity to decide, but reduces the other person to the condition of a machine designed to read our minds and satisfy our needs.

The consequences

Although the metaphor of the better half may appear to be very romantic and tender, turns out to be a deceptive way to fill a void. In one way or another, if we believe that the other is an extension of our own body, it is very likely that we will end pressuring this person to meet our needs in the hope that they will think and act on those needs needs.

When we irrationally believe that perfect complementarity exists, we demand that our relationship fit, surprised at how well that we have connected and docked in the beginning, when it is easier for us to notice only the facets that we value positively. A) Yes, the overvaluation of the new and young can lead to a feeling of loss when the routine appears.

Thus, on a theoretical level, the other would complete us and make us feel happy and full of love, but in reality the only thing we do is put too many expectations on the other which generates conflicts, disappointment, sadness, etc.

To do?

The metaphor of the better half is worth turning around. Why don't we go from being a dependent and unhappy better half to acting like an emotionally self-sufficient and free whole orange?

The key is to realize that we do not need anyone to make us happy, free us from our irrational beliefs and expectations. If not, why do we love our partner as he is?

Lovers come and go but the myths of love settle. If we are able to abstract ourselves from these cultural impositions on love and romanticism that we see in the movies, surely we will be able to value our romantic partners as what They are: unique and unrepeatable people, with mistakes and virtues who, for whatever reason, have managed to enjoy our trust. You have to learn to celebrate this.