What makes LGBT couples successful or unsuccessful?

What Makes a Same-Sex Relationship Success or Failure? This is the fundamental question that led John Gottmann (author of the Gottmann method, a type of couples therapy focused on disarm conflicts and improve coexistence, respect and intimacy in relationships) to study this phenomenon in depth.

Factors for success in an LGBT relationship

One of the key findings was that, in general, the satisfaction and quality of a relationship are similar in all types of partners (straight, gay and lesbian). This finding supports previous research that has found gay relationships to be comparable and not so different from heterosexual relationships in many ways.

Differences between heterosexual couples and same-sex couples

According to Gottmann, gay and lesbian couples, like straight ones, deal with the ups and downs of close relationships every day. However, these ups and downs can occur in a social context of isolation from the family, due to prejudices in the workplace and other social barriers that are exclusive to homosexual couples.

Additionally, research has shown that same-sex couples are more optimistic about conflict. Compared to heterosexual couples, gay and lesbian couples use a communication with more affection and humor when faced with a disagreement, and they often receive it in a more positive.

On the other hand, the data indicate that same-sex couples use fewer hostile and controlling emotional tactics. Gay and lesbian couples also display less belligerence, domination, and fear in conflict than heterosexual couples. For Gottmann, the difference in these emotions related to "control" suggests that fairness and Shared power between couples is more important and more common among gay and lesbian relationships.

What happens in LGTBIQ couple conflicts?

In an argument, LGTBIQ couples take it less personally, which indicates that these types of couples tend to accept a certain degree of negativity in the relationship without affecting its stability or quality. In conflict, lesbian couples show more anger, humor, emotionality, and interest than gay men.

This suggests that lesbian relationships tend to be more expressive (both positive and negative) than gay relationships. This fact is also a reflection of how our society works.: men are socialized in a culture where emotional expression is more acceptable in women and is usually discouraged in men.

Gay men must be especially cautious to avoid negativity in conflict. When it comes to fixing a mistake, gay couples differ from heterosexual couples; If the initiator of conflict in a relationship becomes too negative, your partner may not be able to resolve it as effectively as in lesbian or heterosexual couples.