Verbal aggression: keys to understanding this violent attitude

Verbal aggression, also called verbal abuseIt is a type of violence that is characterized by trying to harm another person with a hurtful message or speech.

It can manifest itself in the form of insults or disqualifying words, and the victim, as a consequence of these verbal attacks, may suffer from anxiety, low self-esteem or a deterioration of her reputation.

• Related article: "The 11 types of violence (and the different types of aggression)”

Verbal abuse, a form of mistreatment

ANDAbuse is often associated with physical harm, which is much more visible when being able to appreciate the physical consequences of said violent action. But there is a form of abuse that is more discreet: verbal abuse.

This type of violence is not always easy to identify, since it is possible to normalize it and, under certain forms of expression, it can even go unnoticed when the abuser comes to justify it with blackmail.

And is that this type of violence produces psychological pain, which is much less visible than physical, but more durable and devastating. There are many people who go to psychotherapy sessions for a situation of psychological and emotional abuse. If you think that you are also suffering, you can this article: "

The 30 signs of psychological abuse in a relationship”And answer the questions posed therein.

The profile of the psychological abuser: what are these kinds of people like?

The truth is that verbal abuse and psychological abuse, despite being less visible, they occur quite frequently and in different environments: the job (mobbing), the couple, the school (bullying)...

However, not everyone intends to harm the people around them. People who abuse others psychologically often have a number of characteristic traits. They are as follows:

• They are authoritarian and they need to keep the people around them under control.
• They seem like good people at first and tend to like each other when they meet them. This is how they earn the trust of the victim to which they will later attack verbally and psychologically.
• They are mentally rigid and pursue the truth. However, the only truth is yours.
• Criticize and treat the other person as if it were inferior and they do not regret it.
• They don't recognize their own faults, because they consider that the others are not right.
• They live off blackmail and make the victim feel guilty.
• They are easily offended and they go from being calm to aggressive in seconds
• They lie easilyHowever, they demand that others always be sincere.
• They are selfish and narcissistic. They think they are above the rest and alone they seek to satisfy their own pleasure.

You can delve into these traits and others in our article: "Profile of the psychological abuser: 21 traits in common”

Things you should know about verbal aggression

Verbal aggression it is a serious problem that must be detected as soon as possible, because the damage that the victim can suffer can be very destructive. Below you can find a list of things you should know about verbal aggression.

1. Cause low self-esteem and inferiority complex

It may seem that a few simple words do not hurt, but repeated verbal abuse can cause serious emotional and psychological problems for the victim. When someone constantly repeats to another person that the fault is theirs, that they do everything wrong, that it is worthless, etc., in the end you end up believing it and you end up internalizing it.

The result of this is that the person ends up suffering an inferiority complex and one self-esteem low, because much of how we evaluate ourselves depends on the opinion that others have of us.

2. The circuit of emotional and physical damage is the same

According to Eric Jaffe, in his book Why Love Literally Hurts, neuroimaging studies have shown that the regions involved in physical pain processing overlap those related to emotional pain and social distress.

This is consistent with the experiments carried out by Naomi L. Eisenberger and other researchers, who have shown that the same brain regions are activated for both physical pain and when someone feel socially excluded, which could be very concerning in terms of the implications it has for the importance of pain emotional. While physical pain may produce acute but short-lived pain, emotional pain is longer lasting. and it can manifest itself repeatedly over time.

3. Consequences on the physical health of the person

Unfortunately, this type of behavior could lead the victim to a situation of sadness and depression that, in turn, could be detrimental to their physical health. This is because this negative state, if prolonged, leads the victim to perform certain toxic habits in order to fill your emptiness (for example, poor diet, isolating or not doing physical exercise).

Suffering this type of abuse in the early stages affects the growth of the person in many ways, for example, in the development of bones, muscles and vital organs they also deteriorate. The child becomes weaker and weaker as time goes by.

• Related article: "Toxic habits: 10 behaviors that consume your energy”

4. Development of antisocial and criminal behavior

Especially when repeated verbal violence occurs on the little ones, the emotional impact accompanies them for the rest of their lives. One of the worst side effects in abused children is that in many cases they develop forms of antisocial behavior.

Several studies carried out on the childhood of criminals have established links between verbal abuse and the criminal history of individuals. In a sense, verbal abuse is itself a violent behavior of a symbolic nature, and its first-person experimentation makes that young people are starting to get used to aggressions in general, so if they start to do the same it does not seem so serious. Children, to some extent, imitate what they see, and often take it further in part to experiment.

5. Changes in the brain

It seems that the damage not only occurs at the behavioral level, but the brain also suffers the consequences of verbal abuse. This is what a study by Martin Teicher and his colleagues found, who claim that a hostile environment and stressful (such as a family engaging in repeated verbal abuse behaviors with their children) causes significant changes in some brain regions of the people who are victims of these acts.

Among the affected areas is: hard body, in charge of transferring motor, sensory and cognitive information between the two cerebral hemispheres; the limbic system, a region that regulates emotions; and the frontal cortex, responsible for reasoning, executive functions, and decision-making.

Likewise, there seems to be a correlation between verbal abuse and changes in Gray matter of the brain (without having proven causality), according to an investigation by Akemi Tomoda and other researchers. If the abuse becomes chronic, it is expected that it will produce more or less detectable changes in the brain.

6. The effects of verbal aggression are greater than the expression of love

If love is a very strong feeling that can change our behavior, it seems that verbal aggression affects us even more intensely. That is why we must be especially careful when educating our children.

Research affirms that if parents humiliate and reject their children, the children may never overcome the harm as adults that caused them. Hurtful words have a strong impact on children's emotional health. So you have to be careful with the things that are said. The fact of having suffered humiliation and teasing is capable of leaving a mark on the self-image and the self-esteem, a trace that in the long term leads to outward-directed rejection behaviors, towards others.