Psychological profile of the unfaithful person, in 5 broad features

The unfaithful person, in addition to being regularly represented in art forms that rely on drama (he is one of the favorite characters in the annals of the literature, cinema, television and all the arts where the heart can mourn its sorrows), exists far beyond fiction and is not limited to some cases isolated.

At present, and despite the fact that monogamy is the predominant model in much of the planet, infidelity is at the center of the Western families, because every day there are more cases of couples or marriages that are affected and that go into crisis because of this phenomenon.

However, when we talk about unfaithful people we are referring to individuals who tend to commit infidelities in a systematic way, not as an exception but as a rule. We'll see now the behavior patterns and the psychological profile of the unfaithful person, in addition to some clearly external factors that affect the environment towards the individual.

• Related article: "The 9 types of infidelity and their characteristics”

What is the psychological profile of the unfaithful person?

As we have seen, the unfaithful person is an individual accustomed to having relationships that break with the basic norms on which the couple is based. Now... what is it that makes your relationships so unstable and with such fuzzy boundaries? At the heart of this question is the way the unfaithful person manage attachment with others.

A study developed by the University of Florida, determined that the unfaithful person has the tendency to develop a form of attachment called "insecure attachment." This theory ensures that the primary relationships established with parents and caregivers during childhood and the first years of life decisively influence the relationships that are established in life adult. And it seems that all its manifestations are related to the profile of the unfaithful person.

According John Bowlby's attachment theory (1907-1990), those people who have developed insecure attachment usually present in adulthood the following characteristics, according to the type of affection and primary relationships under which they have developed their attachment. We meet three types of unfaithful people:

1. Anxious attachment

Adults who exhibit this type of attachment are more sensitive to rejection and anxiety, have poor impulse control and constant dissatisfaction. Likewise, they fear being rejected by the sentimental partner, and it is for this reason that they enter into relationships constantly and impulsively, seeking approval.

Some research in psychology indicates that unfaithful people are also usually the most jealous, an issue that basically reveals a great inferiority complex and weak self-esteem that you need to reaffirm yourself by liking other people and very frequently. Curious, right?

2. Avoidant attachment

These types of individuals have learned to give less importance to their emotional expressions. In other words, they are people who show colder and they will tend to remain more distant, so their relationships will be less deep, or less emotionally charged. They constantly present elusive behaviors, high levels of hostility and aggressiveness, and for them being unfaithful will not have the same emotional weight as for ordinary people. Ultimately, high rates of negative interactions with the partner will appear.

3. Disorganized attachment

These people do not enter into a relationship with sufficient security and conviction, and They tend to display unpredictable and poorly organized behavior. If necessary, they are not very understanding, and it will be extremely difficult for them to be understood by their counterpart. The characteristics of this type of personality in terms of their affective relationship will contribute to its having little continuity.

What other factors that lead to infidelity

As we have commented previously, the psychological profile of the unfaithful person is highly complex, and there is no single definition or cause that classifies or identifies them as such. Apart from the three big Bowlby labels, there are many other factors that reveal the psychological profile of the unfaithful, which we will detail below:

1. The risk

Those who tend to make risky decisions or show a heightened sense of adventure, they are more likely to be unfaithful compared to people who are more fearful. It is very likely that there is a genetic component involved in risky behaviors, since the mere fact of being unfaithful includes a component with a high possibility of failure.

2. The power

It is one of the most influential and defining characteristics. People in a position of power are extremely prone to cheating. Power increases one's confidence and self-esteem, which leads individuals to act more assertively and extroverted. Powerful people are more likely to make direct eye contact, stand in confident poses (body language), and portray themselves as a potential lover.

3. Sexual desire

Sexual desire varies from person to person. Levels libido they have a genetic component that is difficult to control. Some individuals have a high interest in sex while other people project less interest in it. Being a purely physical component, some people are inherently easier to be driven by their sexual desire.

In this specific case, men tend to have a higher sex drive, which leads them to lead the purely sexual and non-affective infidelity.

4. Psychopathy

Society has taught us to see love and romance as a sacred and eternal bond between two individuals. Other people see love as a game in which the objective is to manipulate the other person and gain power over the romantic partner through emotional blackmail, something very typical of individuals with a high degree of psychopathy. People who see love as a game they are much more likely to have multiple love interests; cheating and lying is just another way to gain control of the spouse.

• You may be interested: "Psychological profile of the emotional blackmailer, in 5 traits and habits"

5. The economic level

The attractiveness of a person greatly influences the likelihood that he or she will be unfaithful. The attraction comes in different ways. It is influenced by physical appearance (it is the first thing the eyes see), social skills (charisma, gift of speech) and tangible resources such as money. The closer we are to what is most demanded, the more likely we are to be unfaithful.

Those with a better education, higher income, and successful careers are more likely to develop an unfaithful profile than individuals with less purchasing power or access to education, in partly because they are more exposed to the type of people who have more characteristics considered attractive in a way superficial.

Is there a possible solution?

We have two points of view to address the conflict. In the first place, the solution can be approached by focusing on the individual with the psychological profile of an unfaithful person who cannot have a stable relationship and wishes to do so; It can also be approached based on the partner, if the pillar of the problem has more to do with external factors that influence one or the other to be unfaithful.

On the other hand, when the problem focuses more than anything on a reality of the two, there must be a predisposition on the part of the couple to solve a situation of such gravity, as long as you both have a sincere desire to move on with the relationship. In some cases, reciprocal infidelities occur at times when both parties want to end the relationship.

In both cases, the participation of a suitable professional is necessary. Always seek the help of an expert relationship counselor, as dealing with these types of issues on your own often seems extremely difficult. Introducing a third, more objective, external opinion will aid in more constructive conversations.

Likewise, it must be taken into account that couples therapy will not always offer a solution, and even less instantaneous. The will of the person or persons affected is essential if a satisfactory solution is to be found.

• Related article: "How do you know when to go to couples therapy? 5 compelling reasons"