7 tips to stop being a selfish person

To a greater or lesser extent we are all selfish in some aspects. However, there are people who are in excess and their behavior draws a lot of attention. When others are selfish, we usually detect it quickly, but when we are the ones who show this attitude, it is difficult for us to recognize and detect it.

But, Is it worth it to be selfish? The truth is that selfishness can spoil many interpersonal relationships. If you think you are being selfish and want to change your behavior, this article will interest you.

• Related article: "Manipulative people have these 5 traits in common”

Characteristics of a selfish person

We all know what it means to be selfish and no one likes being around one of those guys who don't take our needs into account. When we have one of those people around who looks only for their own benefit and rarely moves a finger if He is not going to get something in return, we are hardly going to establish a deep friendship nor are we going to give them our confidence.

Selfish people don't exactly enjoy great sympathy from others. In short, selfish people:

• They are unlikely to share. Unless, of course, they want to make a profit in return.
• They try to get rewards from everyday situations.
• They feel very offended and resentful when they don't get what they want.
• They try the least, and always for their own good.
• They have no interest in others, only in themselves.
• They are insatiable and always want more.
• They don't stop until they get it.

And it is that those individuals who are "first me and then me" create toxic relationships, whether as a couple, at work or in friendship. Selfish individuals are not always aware of what they are or of the harm they doBut they end up manipulating their environment to get what they want.

• You can delve into the characteristics of selfish people in our article: "Selfish people share these 6 traits”

What to do if you are selfish

Selfishness is a more or less common behavior of people, but that does not mean that they cannot be adopted behaviors to be more aware of how we behave with others, thus improving the quality and quantity of our relationships.

If you think you are being selfish and want to change the way you act, you can follow these tips.

1. Reflect and accept it

To be able to change it is necessary to be aware of what you do not like. This is key to taking action and transforming yourself. Therefore, to stop being selfish, the first step is to reflect on how your behavior hurts others and yourself.

And it is that selfishness breaks relationships, causes suffering and can cause an intense feeling of discomfort. To avoid this, you must examine your selfish actions and how they affect the people around you. Now, when he regrets being selfish, guilt can take hold of him. So it is necessary to accept this behavior and recognizing this attitude is not beneficial for either party.

2. Change your perspective

Once you recognize that you are being selfish it is necessary to change your perspective, and this may require effort and will. Changing your perspective means assuming that you are not always going to be right and that the opinions of others count too. Once you understand this, you can start offering something to others and not just thinking about receiving all the time.

Remember that when we give to other people we will feel better, because helping others is also beneficial for the one who gives help and not only for the one who receives it. This is what concludes a study based on brain imaging by scientists at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA).

3. Stop believing that you are the center of the world

Selfishness, self-centeredness, and selfishness are the same for many people, but in reality they are not. For example, you can be selfish without being egotistical. Now, these concepts often go hand in hand. The egoist wants everything for himself, it is behavior and an attitude. However, while egotism is that one loves himself very much. self-centeredness is that people think that the center of the universe and that the opinions of others are below their own.

Although these concepts do not always appear together, in many cases people who think so much about themselves do not take others into account or think about their needs. The result is that they are also selfish. Letting go of this way of thinking can help you stop being selfish..

4. You must be empathetic

Therefore, it is important to put yourself in other people's shoes and pay attention to how they feel. A person who can believe that the other person is suffering will hardly hurt him (unless he is a psychopath).

Many times we act negatively towards others because we think they want to hurt us or because we are victims of prejudice, and we do not stop to think about the pain that we can cause to the other. Being empathetic is understanding others, and therefore, feel open to her feelings and emotions.

5. Actively listen

To understand the emotions of others it is essential that you listen to them. But listening is not the same as hearing. To listen, you have to pay attention not only to what the other person verbalizes, but also to what they express through their non-verbal language and her behavior.

This is what is known as active listening, which is a skill that can be acquired and developed with practice.

• If you want to improve this type of listening, you can read our article: "Active listening: the key to communicating with others”

6. Not only receive, you must also give

When you understand the feelings of others and their needs, then you can open your heart and offer them something. Human beings need to surround ourselves with other people to feel happy. Therefore, anticipate the needs of others and show them that you care. Sure will thank you.

7. Make the effort

It is not always easy to act compassionately and altruistically, because selfishness has a lot to do with how we have been educated and the society in which we live, which encourages these types of practices.

Human beings want immediate pleasure, and this, many times, makes us not take into account others and the consequences of our behaviors. That is why it is necessary to do your part, because the will is key when it comes to being compassionate and friendly.. Better that people remember you as a good person than as someone selfish.