The 4 differences between jealousy and envy

Each and every one of us has dreams, objectives and desires which we would like to achieve, as well as things, projects or affections that we would like to obtain or keep if we have with us.

Such wishes are often a significant investment of time and resources, and even then they are not always achieved. In this context, we sometimes see how other people do obtain things that we would like to achieve, or we fear that they will “take away” what we have achieved.

This can lead to unpleasant and annoying emotions that, although natural, if not managed properly lead to toxic and destructive behaviors: we are talking about envy and jealousy. In both cases we are facing unpleasant emotions related to the idea of ​​possession, being similar to each other or even being frequently confused by a large part of the population. But we are not facing two synonyms, but rather different concepts.

In order to learn to distinguish between them, throughout this article we are going to comment the main differences between jealousy and envy, with explanations on how to distinguish between the two phenomena.

• Related article: "Differences between emotions and feelings"

Envy and jealousy: two different concepts

Understanding what the concepts envy and jealousy refer to is essential in order to distinguish them and appreciate the differences between the two. In this sense, it is necessary to make a brief definition of each of them.

It is known as envy to the feeling characterized by a strong feeling of discomfort or pain at the existence or achievement by another person of an objective, characteristic or good that is wanted for oneselfregardless of whether the other person has worked hard to achieve it or not.

It is about a strong desire to obtain something that another person has and we do not, causing us anger, bitterness and / or sadness that another has our object of desire. Sometimes the feeling of admiration is considered as such as well as the desire to have something that one does not have, which It would be "healthy envy", but generally when there is envy there is a tendency to wish the other person to lose that well.

When it comes to jealousy, we refer by this name to the feeling of discomfort, anguish and worry directed towards the possibility of losing something that is valuable to us at the hands of another person and that we consider our own.

We can talk about the existence of jealousy towards very different types of elements, such as jealousy professionals, but in the field in which they are most often observed in the field of relationships interpersonal.

In this sense, the attention, affection or love of the other person is perceived as something that belongs to the subject, and that another can take away. Although the most common thing is that when we talk about jealousy we associate them with relationships, there may also be jealousy between friends or even between family members (for example siblings).

Although a certain level of jealousy may be natural, its existence generally speaks of insecurity as well as a perception of possession or belonging to the other or his attentions and it is not uncommon for there to be feelings of inferiority towards the one who has achieved the object of wish.

Main differences between jealousy and envy

Although at first glance jealousy and envy have many similarities to each other, the truth is that ** they are concepts that present remarkable differences **. Among them, some of the most relevant are the following.

1. Situation with respect to the object of desire

The main and most important difference between jealousy and envy, and the easiest way to tell them apart, is that while envy is established with respect to something that is desired but has never been had or possessed Jealousy centers on the fear of losing something that you already have and want to keep.

• You may be interested: "The types of jealousy and their different characteristics"

2. Who is the emotion focused on?

A second difference lies in the object to which the emotion is directed. When someone is envied, the attention and discomfort is generated by the person who generates the envy. In jealousy the discomfort does not usually come from the person (although the relationship tends to suffer) but from a situation that triggers suspicion or fear of losing something dear.

3. Possibility vs certainty

Among the differences between jealousy and envy we can find the level of uncertainty and certainty that we have regarding what generates the emotion.

As a general rule, envy is based on a certainty: the other person has something that one lacks. However, in the case of jealousy, the emotion is generated by uncertainty, by the fear that another person appears and takes the object of desire or the suspicion of losing what is Dear.

4. Fear vs rage

Another difference that we can find between jealousy and envy is found in the feeling that usually predominates. Usually in jealousy what usually predominates is an intense fear of losing what has been achieved, while envy is much more focused on resentment and anger that generates that the other has what we want and do not have. However, it must be borne in mind that in both cases there is likely to be so much fear (of losing or not achieving the desired) as anger (towards the person envied or towards those who can get what have).

Bibliographic references

• Parrott, W.G.; Smith, R. H. (1993). Distinguishing the experiences of envy and jealousy. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 64 (6): 906–920.
• Reidl Martínez, L.M. (2005). Jealousy and envy: human emotions. National Autonomous University of Mexico.