What to do when your boyfriend or girlfriend ignores you (in 7 steps)

Finding that person who makes us happy as a couple can be an experience that allows us to have a full life. In fact, looking for and finding a partner is one of the goals that many of us have, because having a romantic life with someone we consider incredible changes our life.

The world of interpersonal relationships, and especially that of the couple, is especially complex since it is not easy that, in addition to the attraction, let us find in that person the variables that allow the relationship to be maintained over time: capacity for dialogue, respect, tolerance, etc. Sometimes being in love is not enough to have a successful life as a couple, and conflicts can appear to the point of deteriorating that beautiful initial feeling.

• Related article: "The essentials to take into account when looking for a partner"

When our partner ignores us

And it is that, sometimes, the couple can change their initial behavior. If at first he gave everything for us, he can ignore us. Have you ever had that feeling?

This unpleasant feeling can cause many problems for the person who feels rejected because she may come to believe that it is their fault or that the partner has stopped loving him. Sometimes it can be a communication problem that needs to be fixed, so it's always good to talk things out.

To prevent things from getting older, You can carry out a series of actions that allow you to know why your boyfriend ignores you and what you should do to solve it. In the following lines we present some tips that you should use when your partner ignores you.

1. Analyze your behavior

Relationships are complex, and it may happen that, at some point in the relationship, your boyfriend / girlfriend feels hurt by your behavior. This does not have to be the reason, but it may be the case that it is. While it is good to talk things out, sometimes we can get to the point where we get fed up with someone's behavior after several notices. Be realistic, and if you've actually had something to do with it, you'd better be self-critical and acknowledge your mistakes.

2. Put yourself in their shoes

Continuing with the previous point, it is good to try to understand the behavior of your partner. Maybe the reason for his distancing is your behavior, or maybe things are not going well at work and he is not going through the best of times. While she should be counting on you for these things, she may not be having a good time. Try to see it from their perspective. Of course, without obsessing.

3. Communicate

The previous two points can help you understand the context and find a way to talk to your partner. However, when you think that what is happening does not make sense or that what is happening is affecting you, it is better that you be clear and that you speak things to the face. If the person you are with loves you, they will end up telling you what is wrong with them. Communication is the best way to avoid unnecessary conflicts, because when each one pulls to her side, the relationship can deteriorate and the dating relationship can worsen.

• Related article: "The 10 basic communication skills"

4. Avoid mind games

When we choose an option other than communication, we may try to play mind games with the other person or adapt our behavior to get their attention.. For example, wanting to make our partner jealous. Although this may seem like a good alternative. In the long run it can damage trust and the smooth running of the relationship. Without a doubt, it is not the best option to approach positions. and regain mutual trust.

5. Focus on yourself and put the obsession aside

It can also happen that, when trying to find out what is going on in a person's mind, we become obsessed and stop being ourselves. This can make us sad, something that can hijack our attention and negatively change our behavior. That is why it is important to focus on yourself, because when we are ignored, our self-esteem can suffer.. If we fight for our own personal development and find inner peace, it is easier to be less affected by how we are treated and what others say about us.

• Related article: "Tips to stop thinking about what others think of you"

6. Ask for respect

If you have done your part to change things but the other person continues to ignore you, you should not let them disrespect you or get away with it.. By demanding respect, the other person knows what the limit is and what you tolerate. Communication is undoubtedly key in this regard. But if after talking with that person and seeing no result, perhaps you should start to seriously consider the path that the relationship is taking.

7. Make a decision

If at this point the person continues to act in this way, something may really happen or there is a serious reason that motivates him to act like this. If you talk to him or her and he or she is defensive or tells you that they will change but doesn't, they may be playing you, or in the worst case scenario, they have become disillusioned with the relationship. It could also happen that a third person actually exists. If you suspect this, maybe you should take a look at our article "8 keys to know if your partner is unfaithful and cheats on you". If this situation persists in time, you must make a decision. Maybe quitting is the good option.