The 6 steps to overcome a love rejection

The love rejections can be uOne of the experiences that produce more anguish and discomfort if they are not well managed.

On the one hand, the self-esteem of the person who experiences it may be affected if he interprets this episode as a sign that he is worth little as a human being and that other people do not want to interact with him. On the other hand, rejection can be, at the same time, a way that a series of life plans are truncated in couple and illusions about how the relationship with the other person can evolve, which produces a disappointment what can lead to distress or anxiety.

How to overcome a love rejection with philosophy

However, love rejections do not have to be a big problem if you know how to deal with them with philosophy. So the ability to adapt to these situations is worth training, which will allow us to stop avoiding the possibility of them happening (fleeing from situations in which we must express our feelings) and at the same time adapt to a series of events that are beyond our control and have to do with the interests of another person.

1. Doubting one's intentions

There is a strong social influence that pushes us to be constantly looking for a partner, even when we want to be alone. A good way to accept a rejection is question to what extent we sincerely want to be with that person. Emotional intelligence that helps us see personal relationships from an appropriate perspective is also related to the ability to review and question assumptions about our own intentions, motivations, and goals true.

That is why, to overcome a rejection, it is essential to first ask if it is a genuine rejection, that is, if what has not been reciprocated by the other person is a true couple's project.

2. Taking the situation as an opportunity

Love rejections too can be an opportunity to train our own management of emotions and become peopleemotionally strong. The very fact of having the ability to stand up to situations in which luck does not accompany is already a very valuable asset, and this skill can only be trained by taking advantage of moments of adversity.

Taking the management of a rejection in a constructive spirit will not only contribute to the negative emotions associated with this fade as we pay less attention to them, but also helps us in our personal development plans.

3. Recognize the power of care management

We tend to believe that our perception of reality is given by our senses, but there is another factor that we hardly ever take into account: the attention. In cases where someone does something that makes us feel bad, we tend to focus on the unusual aspect that causes us discomfort (their hurtful phrases, their attitude hostile towards us, etc.) and we will not realize that it would be perfectly possible to perceive the same stimuli by distancing ourselves from the unpleasant aspects of the scene.

Similarly, to overcome a rejection It is important to bear in mind that taking the controls of our attention to direct it towards the positive (or neutral) aspects of the situation is much of the solution.

When we overcome a rejection, we are also overcoming the loop of negative emotions that it produces. That is why it is good to remember that much of the pain that triggers a rejection originates not because of what you have made the other person, but by our focus on negative feelings and thoughts that they weigh down. We must learn to "manually" correct the tendency of our brain to focus attention on the potentially hurtful in order to get out of the loop of negative emotions.

4. Avoid "suppressing" negative emotions

This step is derived from the previous one. Failure to focus on the negative aspects of rejection does not mean fighting to forget this rejection. nor do they show that they have not been through it, but rather reformulate this experience in other terms. Trying to "block" mentally all the memories associated with the other person is still a way of always keeping in mind what We intend to avoid it, since both the objective and the plan to forget all this refer to the aspects of rejection that most they hurt. While it may be wise to stop seeing the other person as often as before for a few days, the goal of this It should be getting used to new habits and having time to devote to self-reflection, not just burying this relationship.

In short, learn to implement coping strategies to overcome a love rejection involves having confidence in your own ability to deal with negative emotions, rather than deny them.

5. Demystify rejection

Just as some people believe that the universe can conspire in their favor to help them achieve their goals, when it comes to facing a love rejection it is possible that it We perceive as a sign that something that should go well in our interests has gone very wrong for reasons that we cannot explain and that, in some way, we attract the bad lucky. This thinking is not only not rational, but it can be an obstacle to promoting personal projects, since leads us to assume that everything will fail and that, therefore, it is better not to invest too much effort in certain things.

So it is very good to keep in mind a very simple fact: practically everyone has faced a love rejection, but this is not something that is usually talked about easily. If it seems to us that a rejection is something exceptional that could only happen to us, it is because we do not have access to the private compartments of the lives of other people.

Yes, love rejections can be very hard. But much of this feeling of anguish and discomfort has to do with taking this type of situation too seriously, believing that it is a very particular case. We magnify the drama which supposes that one person does not correspond to another as the latter would like, but the fact is that this occurs constantly, as can be expected in living beings that do not have concerns and interests identical.

6. Detect recurring thoughts

When we are faced with situations that trigger stress or anguish, it is common that at first we lose the ability to control our flow of thoughts just as we usually do. That is why recurring thoughts tend to appear that are in line with our mood and are They feed back each other, producing a greater feeling of discomfort in the event that the emotions are negative.

Knowing how to detect recurring thoughts related to self rejection (such as "you are worth nothing" or "nobody wants to know anything about you") is essential to overcome a rejection.