The 6 uncomfortable truths about breaking up

The love couple It is one of the most beautiful sensations that human beings can enjoy, and knowing that someone accompanies you in good times and in bad times is one of those things that is worth it to live.

In our article "The chemistry of love: a very powerful drug", we explain how falling in love is able to make you feel high, make you feel low or make you feel the monkey for someone. That love is like a drug is totally true, and it has some really curious side effects.

But love ends too ...

But when love ends, the couple breaks up, and the person with whom we had shared so many good moments leaves our life, the consequences of addiction to his caresses, kisses, smiles, etc., are so strong that they can lead to serious behaviorsdepressive Y obsessive.

There are many reasons why a couple can break up: infidelity, the loss of interest in the other, the lack of communication... and it is difficult to learn to live without that special someone, because the emotional memory It reminds us over and over again, those songs, those corners, those trips, those crazy things, etc.

How to deal with a love breakup?

Going through a breakup is not easy, but over time it can be overcome. Since the first step to move forward is to accept that the relationship is over.

Here we show you the six uncomfortable truths about the breakup, so that you understand that all (or almost all) have suffered for someone at some time.

1. Heartbreak is not linear

Heartbreak is not linear, but there are ups and downs, that is why it is one of the situations that can cause the most contradiction in oneself, especially in the first moments of the breakup. Although heartbreak follows a series of phases, one is always exposed to relive those moments of the past.

The psychologist and researcher of the Faculty of Psychology of the UNAM, Rozzana Sánchez Aragón exposes the following:

"The love grief is a process that becomes more complicated than the one faced when a loved one dies, because in the death grief, thanks to reasoning, it occurs a linear process when knowing that a relationship ended, while ** in the love break there is a cyclical process because there is always the possibility that the contact with the ex-partner. ** This can stop the progress made in seeking to overcome the relationship and revive the emotions, both positive and negative, that make it more difficult and painful".

That does not mean that you cannot overcome the lack of love, because the neural circuits that are activated during the infatuation, over time, weaken. But old love can reactivate them in some situations, and that is why psychologists recommend "all or nothing", that is, not to maintain contact with the person with whom we have been in love, at least for a while. This time can be longer or shorter depending on the intensity of the feeling and other aspects such as the self-esteem of the individual.

Unlike the loss of another loved one, in relationships there is an emotional game and feelings of: guilt, hatred are experienced, inferiority, etc., which can disturb people's emotional stability.

2. It is often a difficult decision to make

Since heartbreak is not linear and emotions have a lot of weight when making the decision to leave the couple, to impose the reason in front of the intensity of the feelings that are experienced is very complicated. In addition, as mentioned in the previous point, Self-esteem plays an important role, and it is quite common that many people, even after having been very clear about the end of the relationship, have subsequently regretted.

Work on improving yourself and yourself Personal development, and learning to love yourself as you are, is the best way to move forward with the new situation.

3. It hurts... a lot!

The person who leaves the relationship may, on many occasions, suffer less. But the person who is left tends to feel more intense and lasting pain due to not understanding the causes of the break, and you may perceive the breakup as a personal failure, negatively affecting your well-being.

For Sánchez Aragón, the pain felt after a love breakupit can be even worse than the death of a loved one. After conducting a study in which emotions, thoughts and behaviors were analyzed after the love breakup, he concluded:

“When you suffer the loss of someone with high emotional value, and the reason is death, you experience grief and it may take time, but It is known that there is no possibility of seeing it again and in this way the reasoning allows us to understand that there is no return.

It is different in the romantic case because here we have the possibility of seeing the person again and perhaps meeting him with another partner; this can create a difficult situation to overcome, since one feels that he is pseudo-adaptation to life and returns to a part of his life that causes him intense pain ”.

4. Mutual friends can get lost

Couple breakups are very painful and can have negative effects in different areas of our lives if they are not overcome in a positive way. In fact, couple breakups they can lead us to aexistential crisiswhich may even be necessary to grow emotionally. But when the negative emotions (anger, rage, etc.) caused by the breakup are not well managed, the person can enter a negative spiral that It will affect the way you relate to people close to your partner, as they will remind you of your "ex" and can accentuate the obsession.

As we mentioned in the previous lines, the "all or nothing" is necessary to let time pass and the closest friends can also suffer, as they are a direct route of information about what the other does. At other times, they are close friends who can end up fed up, as they are often used to sympathize and take our side.

5. You're going to feel lonely (at least for a while)

When you break up with someone the daily routine and sharing a large part of your life with that person will change. The habituation to your love and letting go of those intimate moments is usually the hardest thing to overcome. In fact, thinking that the good times you shared will be shared with someone else, can cause jealousy and complicate the subsequent relationship (at least cordial) with your "ex."

Many people They do not know how to be alone and seek to fill the void they feel with someone else, without stopping to correct their own mistakes or strengthen their self-esteem, affected after the break up. As time goes by, those moments of loneliness are overcome, but it is necessary to stop for a while to find oneself, otherwise the following relationships may suffer.

6. You can be happy again in love

Although at the moment of breaking up it may seem that the one who has been your partner up to now is the only person with whom you are going to be really happy, that little voice is only youemotional dependencewho is lying to you. In reality, time heals everything, and distance can be our ally if we want to recover the best version of ourselves.

Human beings can adapt to a multitude of situations, and we can be resilient. When the relationship ends you can experience the worst time of your life, and you can feel sad and depressed. Fortunately, over time you will feel better and open your heart to another special person.