How does couples therapy work? 7 steps to follow

Couples therapy is one of the most demanded counseling services, and it is not surprising.

In fact, in Western countries, the number of marriages that end in divorce is between 30 and 45%, and if we assume that people who marry tend to be those who have already achieved some stability in their relationship, this indicates that relationship problems are far from being rare exceptions.

On the other hand, couples therapy has been shown to be effective in increasing the chances that the affective bond will be strengthen and improve coexistence, and this influences that there are many who try to relaunch their love relationship with the help of support professional. However… How does couples therapy work? This is the topic we'll explore if you keep reading.

• Related article: "The 5 types of couples therapy"

7 keys to knowing how couples therapy works

These are the fundamental guidelines that help to know how couples therapy works from the point of view of those who come to it as clients.

1. Determine if the problem should be addressed from therapy

Not all problems in a relationship can be solved through couples therapy. In fact, in certain cases it is very important not to try this route; These are the cases in which one is a victim of physical or psychological abuse.

In situations like this, the first and only short-term way out is to end the relationship immediately and get to safety; Going to therapy would increase the problem, being used as an excuse to postpone the breakup. However, we couples therapists do not work to lengthen these relationships.

2. Choose the format: face-to-face or online

At the moment, there are many teams of psychologists who, in addition to classical therapy in face-to-face format, also perform online therapy.

This is based on video call sessions through electronic devices with cameras, typically laptops or desktops. The main difference is the communication channel used and the fact of saving travel and the time involved.

3. Choose the place to go

It is important that you choose a therapy center or office where registered psychologists work, to have the guarantees that they have the necessary training to attend to cases.

• You may be interested: "The 14 most common problems in relationships"

4. Decide when it is good for you to go

Couples therapy requires weekly frequency, maintaining consistency in the schedules. Make sure that the selected time and day suit you both to the same extent, so as not to generate asymmetries and problems that can evolve to shape a new conflict. If you lack time, consider the option of online couples therapy.

5. Talk about it and minimally establish the problem and

It is good that before going to the first session you talk about the problem or problems you are experiencing in the relationship, in order to have a minimal notion of what is happening to you and how you feel when respect.

Yes indeed, do not be obsessed with getting an accurate and objective view of the problem To solve. One of the basic aspects to understand how couples therapy works is not to try to completely decipher what is the cause of your discomfort or dissatisfaction; Understanding this further is part of the work that you will do in the therapy sessions with the help of the psychologist or psychologist.

6. Evaluate the possibility of going to individual therapy

Sometimes psychologists recommend combining couples therapy with individual sessions for one or for both members of the couple, to treat personal problems that are affecting the relationship. In these cases, it is not necessary to look for the guiltyIt is simply one more opportunity to overcome a problem that is probably causing discomfort in other areas of life beyond the love relationship and living together at home.

7. Go to therapy and commit to the process

It is very important not to skip sessions, because that is usually used as an excuse to stop going to therapy. To get results, You have to maintain consistency for the duration of the therapeutic process, for several weeks or months..

Are you interested in going to couples therapy?

On Psychologists Majadahonda we have many years of experience doing both couples therapy and psychotherapy individual, always using the intervention methods and strategies that have proven to be the most effective. In addition, we also carry out child and adolescent therapy, which is useful in the case of couples or married couples with young children who may be affected by problems in the relationship.

You can have our services both in person at our center located in Majadahonda, and through online sessions by video call; If you are interested in knowing more about how we work or want to see our contact information, go to this page.

Bibliographic references:

• Biscotti, O. (2006). Couples Therapy: a systemic view. Buenos Aires: Lumen.
• Christensena, A. & Dossb, B.D. (2018). Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy. Current Opinion in Psychology, 13: pp. 111 - 114.
• Ahluwalia, H.; Anand, T & Suman, L.N. (2018). Marital and family therapy. Indian Journal of Psychiatry, 60 (4): pp. S501 - S505.
• Lepore, J. (2010). The rise of marriage therapy, and other dreams of human betterment. New York: The New Yorker.
• O'Donohue, W. & Ferguson, K.E. (2006). Evidence-Based Practice in Psychology and Behavior Analysis. The Behavior Analyst Today.