23 signs you're in a toxic relationship

Relationships are almost always complicated. In the psychological consultation, mental health professionals usually see cases of couples who get along badly, to the point of reaching levels of stress and major discomfort.

Today we will talk about toxic dating relationships: those relationships in which at least one member of the relationship has behaviors and attitudes totally improper, which can lead to a situation of psychological and emotional vulnerability for the other person.

Toxic relationships: boyfriends and girlfriends who make life miserable

Be careful, because even if it exists love (or something like it), there are couples in which really dangerous dynamics take place, and that can border on psychological abuse.

• You can know more in this article: "The 30 signs of psychological abuse in a relationship"

Cases of toxic relationships can be more or less severe, and In today's article we have tried to detect and describe a total of twenty-three signals that a relationship may be going astray. Certain situations and circumstances may be more prone to these "differences" arising between members of the couple.

The 23 signs your relationship is toxic

On many occasions, people who are immersed in toxic love relationships are not able to realize that they are living in abusive situations. The love we feel towards that person can cloud our judgment and we can tend to forgive anything. It is very common for this type of toxic attitudes to be “normalized” by the victim.

And even though family and friends may warn us that some of the things we are enduring are simply not acceptable, we can remain blindfolded. This article wants to help people who are in a courtship or marriage of these characteristics to improve their situation.

• It may interest you: "Infidelity in couple relationships"

Let's go there with the 23 signs that your partner is toxic or is going through a time when it can cause conflict:

Control and lattice attitudes

1. It bothers him that you spend time with your friends or family.

2. She controls your personal expenses, takes unnecessary control over your bank accounts, or asks you for explanations about your bills.

3. Research your social networks and your mobile phone. She doesn't respect your privacy.

4. He constantly asks about your schedules and plans your life without asking your opinion.

5. When he does you a favor, he demands that you repay him immediately.

6. He despises you and makes you understand that without him / her you would not be anyone and you could not move on.

7. In family gatherings or with friends, you avoid expressing your opinion on something for fear that he will reprimand you or question you again.

8. It is common for you to use the emotional blackmail with you: if you don't do what he / she wants, he / she gets angry.

9. You notice that every time you spend time with someone of the opposite sex, your partner becomes excessively annoyed and jealous, forcing you not to see that person anymore.

10. She treats you with an excess of paternalism and overprotection.

Attitudes of disrespect and conflict

11. It messes with the way you dress, tries to influence you in bad ways to change your style, and so on.

12. Do your best to downplay your merits and virtues.

13. It diminishes the importance of the problems that you express to him, minimizing them and saying phrases like “that's not so bad”, “don't complain about a vice”, and so on.

14. When an argument occurs, you always have to give in, because otherwise he may go days without speaking to you.

15. He blames you for problems he has in his work life or with other people outside the relationship.

16. It is always reminding you of all the mistakes and mistakes you made in the past.

17. You have stopped telling your family, friends and relatives about relationship problems because you know that if he / she finds out, he / she would fly into a rage.

18. You avoid explaining problems or talking about certain topics with him / her because you know he / she would take it badly.

19. He addresses you with demands and bad manners very often

20. Make decisions that affect both of you without asking for your opinion, and even without informing you.

Toxic attitudes in the sexual sphere

21. You notice that you have sex with him / her even though you don't feel like it, just to please her wishes or to keep her from getting angry.

22. He blackmails you or demands that you perform sexual practices that you do not like.

23. He compares you to other sexual partners from his past.

Careful! We all have toxic attitudes at some point

We have been explaining all those attitudes and behaviors that can be a sign that your partner is toxic. But be careful, because it is very easy to see the faults in others and very difficult to criticize.

Everyone, at some point in our life, can make mistakes and have one or more failures like the ones we have described. Therefore, we must be careful when judging our partner. A toxic relationship will only be one in which, on a regular basis, several of the problems discussed occur. Anyway, sometimes the situation can be redirected thanks to communication and good manners.

In other couples, there may be no going back and the relationship is doomed. It is the duty of each person to carefully analyze the situation to see if it is worth trying to fix things.

Bibliographic references:

• G.G., Bolich. (2007). Conversing on Gender.
• by Celis, Estibaliz. (2011). «Prevention of gender violence». In Pérez, Jesús; Escobar, Ana. Perspectives on gender violence. Madrid: Grupo 5 Editorial.
• Long, Scott. (2009). "They Want Us Exterminated": Murder, Torture, Sexual Orientation and Gender in Iraq. Human Rights Watch.