8 tips to leave a relationship without hurting

Romantic breakups are never easy. Leaving a relationship is painful and it is necessary to know how to manage the situation so as not to hurt the other person unnecessarily. Let's know key guidelines to end a relationship without harming the other.

Relationships can bring us wonderful things when they are healthy and working. Unfortunately, love sometimes ends and everything that a person made us feel in the past disappears. Sometimes, even if there are feelings of love, the relationship is stagnant or has become blurred because of the routine. In any case, recognizing that our romantic relationship is no longer the same is not an easy step in absolute, which is why many couples go through long periods of crisis before finally ending up definitive.

• We recommend you read: "The 6 phases to overcome a love breakup"

When love ends: can you leave a relationship without hurting?

Sometimes, breakups occur by mutual agreement, so that both members of the couple are satisfied with ending the relationship, since both consider that it is the best for both. However, on other occasions it happens that

it is one of the members who makes the decision to break the relationship.

Although both may perceive that the situation is delicate and that they are not at their best as a couple, it occurs that one is committed to continuing and trying to save the relationship, while the other decides that it must reach his end. Although it is often believed that the person who is "dumped" is the one who suffers the most when a breakup occurs, the role of the one who decides to end the relationship is by no means easy.

In this way, being in this position can be very complex, since wanting to end the relationship does not mean that you want to hurt the other. In fact, in really healthy relationships, the expectation is that even at the moment of the breakup they try not to harm to the other member of the couple, since although the infatuation has ended, respect and affection can always remain.

Finding yourself in this position can generate certain feelings of guilt, since taking the step without the agreement of the other can generate insecurity, a feeling of being selfish or insensitive. However, a relationship should always be broken when the relationship no longer allows the members to they make up growing as people, feeling illusion, wanting to make joint plans or to draw a future common.

On the contrary, lengthening a relationship when it is no longer satisfactory can further complicate the breakup, generating greater levels of tension and conflict and, ultimately, reducing the chances of ending the relationship amicably and not destructive. Once a firm decision to end the relationship has been made, it is normal for doubts to arise about how to deal with the moment of telling the other person. Therefore, in this article we are going to try to compile a series of useful guidelines to handle this situation in the best possible way.

• We recommend you read: "7 tips to overcome a separation"

How can I end a relationship without hurting?

Although feeling pain when a romantic relationship ends is natural, it is important to know how to manage the situation to avoid doing more damage on the damage. Therefore, if you have decided to end the relationship with your partner, it is important that you follow a series of basic guidelines to avoid hurting the other unnecessarily.

1. Find the time and place

Although it may seem obvious, choosing the right time and place can make a big difference. It is important that you find a quiet place, where you can be alone without distractions in between. Try to choose a time when your partner is not particularly nervous or upset, as this can trigger a conflict. Make sure you both have enough time to talk at length, without rushing or interrupting.

Although it is essential to know how to identify the relevant moment to communicate to the other the intention to end the relationship, do not use this as an excuse to postpone the moment. Prolonging the arrival of this situation too long can be counterproductive, so it is important that, in As soon as you are sure that you do not want to continue, start setting the stage to communicate your wish.

• We recommend you read: "The 80 best phrases to overcome a love breakup"

2. Face the situation, don't hide

Social networks have facilitated communication to unsuspected levels. However, the facilities offered to us in this regard can be dangerous, since You may be tempted to hide and end the relationship with a phone call or text. It is especially important that you do not make this mistake, as it will cause enormous pain in the other. Ending a romantic relationship is a delicate and very important moment, so out of respect for the other it is necessary that you explain what happens face to face and not through a screen.

3. Be clear

When the time comes to communicate that we want to end the relationship, nerves and fear of the other's reaction can play tricks on us. In this sense, you may prefer to use euphemisms and ambiguous words, since this way you can feel that you will hurt the other person less.

However, at a time like this the best thing you can do is be sincere, bluntly, since in this way your partner will not feel confusion or doubts about what you want to say and what is happening. Of course, being sincere does not imply being insensitive, so try to express yourself assertively, clearly indicating how you feel, the reason for your decision and transmitting empathy and warmth towards the other.

4. Take your share of responsibility

When love ends, it is common for us to try to find an explanation that justifies it. At this point it may be a natural reaction to blame the other for what happens. However, if the relationship has stopped working it is not anyone's fault, as there are many aspects that influence this outcome.

Also, do not forget that a relationship requires the involvement of two people, so many times there are aspects that can be improved by both parties. However, when the decision to end the relationship is considered and firm, there is no point in getting lost in debates or reproaches with the other person. The moment of termination should not, under any circumstances, become an argument, but in a calm and respectful closure between the two.

5. Accept that love can end

Although the idea that true love is eternal has traditionally been established, nothing could be further from the truth. Sincere and real love can also come to an end, since there are many variables that condition the course of a romantic relationship.

Therefore, when you feel that your relationship is no longer working, it is a good first step that you open up to yourself and accept that, Although the other person has made you very happy, that stage is over. Of course, ending a relationship does not invalidate all the experiences you have had with the other. The break is not a failure that cancels all the previous happiness, it is simply the end of one stage and the beginning of a new one.

6. State the reasons for the breakup

At the moment of ending the relationship, it is important that the other person understands what has happened so that the relationship has ended. Although the reason may be painful (for example, if there is a third person), it is necessary for the other to know the truth in order to begin their mourning after the breakup with the certainty of what has happened. Otherwise, it will be much more difficult for the other to close the chapter, as many of his questions may go unanswered. This uncertainty only increases the pain after the end of the couple.

7. Close the chapter and don't give false hope

When a relationship ends, it is important that, in case you are the one who takes the step of ending it, you do not convey false hope. If you are sure that you do not want to continue with that person, avoid transmitting messages that may imply that reconciliation is possible. This will prevent the other from starting his mourning process and starting to rebuild his life after the separation.

8. Be grateful for what you have experienced together

Although breakups are always a sad moment where it is often felt that the whole relationship has been a failure, it should not be like that at all. During the time that you have shared, you have surely lived great moments, you have become happy and that should not be banished either. It is important to indicate to the other that, Although it is best to end the relationship, you thank him for all that he has given you while you have shared life together. It is essential to convey this message, although you must be cautious and avoid this becoming a false hope for the other person.

Conclusions

In this article we have reviewed a series of useful guidelines to handle a very difficult moment, such as ending a relationship. Although pain and grief after a separation are unavoidable, managing the breakup properly can avoid unnecessary additional suffering. It is crucial that, when breaking up with your partner, you are calm, respectful, and clear and sincere. It is necessary that you do not create false hopes towards a possible reconciliation and that you cut off all contact after the breakup, at least in the first moments. Be brave and face the moment face to face, explaining your reasons and thanking the other for the time you have shared as a couple.