The 9 main social skills to flirt

Seduction is an area of ​​human relationships for which some people seem to have an almost innate gift. However, for many others, seducing in the context of a casual conversation can be a very difficult task.

And it is that flirting to find a partner is an experience in which many people feel very lost and helpless precisely because, unlike what happens in In the business world, there is no "logical" or rationalizable explanation here as to why we are interested in seducing or pleasing someone: the excuse that we are conforming to a series of expectations and professional roles that are given to us from the outside does not exist, and we are exposing our vulnerabilities, tastes and, ultimately, our personality.

Fortunately, everything can be learned, and psychology professionals specializing in human relations have studied the best practices for years. social skills that we can use to flirt, and here we will see which are the most important.

• Related article: "The 6 types of social skills, and what they are for"

What are the most necessary social skills to flirt?

Below we explain in a summarized way the most necessary social skills to flirt, increasing our chances of success. It is not about magical solutions so that we are able to make anyone fall at our feet, but about being able to develop in a fluid and without letting fear and insecurities paralyze us, and even learning from the occasions in which we are rejected (something that is part of knowing seduce).

1. Sincerity

The path of sincerity is the best way to succeed in any area of ​​our lives and especially in the world of seduction and interpersonal relationships.

Show ourselves as we are in front of the other person, without very artificial maneuvers or pretending to be someone we are not It is the best way to connect naturally with any human being, since falsehood generates great rejection in both men and women.

This does not necessarily mean saying everything that goes through our heads, but letting go of any pretense of appearing to be what we are not. And it doesn't mean that we can't make use of irony and sense of humor to "play" certain roles at a given moment, as long as it is part of the game of seduction and from the context it is clear that we are not like that and that we do not intend to communicate anything else.

Similarly, showing genuine interest in their opinions, hobbies or needs is also a good way to start a deep conversation with which we will learn a lot about what that person we are talking about is like interested.

2. Creativity

Creativity is one of the best ways to create a positive image in another person whom we want to surprise and please in a first impression.

And it is that a good way to flirt is create impromptu situations that are fun; A good part of the seduction process is to break the schemes so that this encounter generates memorable moments. The important thing for an experience to be genuinely creative is that it amuses both parties and allows the other person to participate in it.

This happens by not sticking to the most classic clichés of the role of the "seducer" or the typical phrases to flirt recycled over and over again. Falling into old or hackneyed formulas, we will show that we have very little inventiveness and do not adapt to the conversation or the personality of the other person.

• You may be interested: "What is creativity? Are we all "potential geniuses"?

3. Sense of humor

A sense of humor is one of the most useful tools that we can use not only to attract the attention of anyone we may be interested in, but also to create a relaxed atmosphere in which both of you can express yourself more naturally.

There are many uses of humor in the world of seduction, from an element that we can use to break the ice in first impressions to a creative way to surprise, entertain or show the other person that we can see things from several angles.

• Related article: "What is humour? 4 theories about its function"

4. understand non-verbal language

Understanding your own and others' non-verbal language is another of the clearest advantages that exist for flirting, since in the world of seduction, much of the communication takes place beyond words, that is, from looks, body postures or subtle signals from the body.

That is why it is so important to be aware at all times of the signals that we may be sending to the another person and those we receive from them, in order to maintain a more subtle communication adapted to the situation.

Nonverbal language helps us to know if a person feels comfortable with us and also if, on the contrary, they are not in a position to flirt or are having a hard time.

• You may be interested: "The 5 differences between verbal and non-verbal communication"

5. Courtesy

Courtesy is another of the skills that are most valued during social interaction between people, and more when we are trying to start a friendly conversation with someone unknown or semi-unknown.

To flirt with a person it is essential to maintain a framework of courtesy and education, and this consists of be aware of social norms about good behavior with the person in front of us without doing anything that could bother or bother.

Therefore, it is important to maintain certain levels of education without this preventing us from being creative and original at the same time with the aim of positively surprising the other person.

6. Work on self-esteem

Good self-esteem is one of the most important psychological traits available to people who They are successful when it comes to flirting and the good news is that it can be trained and increased over time. weather. Do not forget that Showing ourselves sure of what we are doing is one of the ways to ensure that the other person does not feel uncomfortable in a conversation either..

There are many ways in which we can improve our levels of self-esteem, the most common is going to a psychologist specialized in the subject to work on those problems that we may have at the emotional.

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7. emotional validation

Emotional validation is another of the most important social skills that we have to link adaptively with our environment, and it consists of knowing how to respect the feelings and emotions of the other person despite not necessarily sharing them.

This ability is closely related to empathy and the ability to put yourself in another's place and be aware of their desires, needs, aspirations or vital approaches.

8. Ability to dominate silences

The ability to maintain interesting and fluid conversations in a natural way is another of the skills that we can apply to be successful when it comes to flirting with a man or a woman that we like. attract.

Paradoxically, this happens by not having an excessive fear of silence (Otherwise, we'll just "shoot" a lot of phrases in a row that don't really help the conversation progress.

Fluency in conversations, knowing how to talk about interesting and appropriate topics without being uncomfortable and in a fluent way is one of the most promising ways to succeed with another person on a night out or in any context festive.

9. Work on your own fears

Another thing that we must take into account to learn to flirt is to overcome the personal fears that we may harbor and that prevent us from achieving our objectives of social interaction.

Some people may have certain levels of stress or anxiety when flirting with someone who like, as well as cases of social phobia or any type of psychological alteration that generates discomfort or suffering.

In these cases, it is advisable to work on your own fears to overcome them or go to a specialist psychologist.

• Related article: "What is fear for?"

Do you want to enhance your social skills?

If you are interested in overcoming your insecurities and/or improving your social and communication skills to enjoy your relationships more and have it easier to flirt or make friends, get in touch with us.

In UPAD Psychology and Coaching We can offer you a face-to-face or online psychological assistance program adapted to what you are looking for.