5 keys to generating intimacy in couple relationships

Sometimes, starting out with someone and beginning an “official” relationship costs less than creating a shared intimacy between lovers. And it is that one thing is that two people consider each other boyfriends, and another is to achieve a degree of true intimate connection.

For example, it is very easy to go to the movies together, spend pleasant times talking, or fit in well with each other's family and friends, but Opening up in an honest way and even connecting physically through touch and non-verbal language can sometimes be Cost.

Next we will review some keys to achieve that the couple relationships develop a high degree of intimacy and emotional connection.

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Increase the degree of intimacy in love relationships

To remove the possible barriers that create an unnecessary separation between lovers, it is essential to create an intense intimate connection between them.

1. Review the imperfections you know about your partner

Love exists because you know how to appreciate the unique and unrepeatable of the other, their mortality and their vulnerability. It may seem strange, but building intimacy within a relationship is based, among other things, on recognizing the imperfections of yourself and the person you love.

Being aware at all times of the human and limited character of the members of the couple makes the good actions that the other person does not be viewed with suspicion, as if it were a strategy with instrumental ends, just as a robot would do that follows programmed instructions to fulfill its function. On the other hand, keeping in mind that the expressions of affection and affection are genuine and are born from the need to be in the company of the other, they allow to receive them by lowering the defenses.

2. Learn to give opportunities

There are people who have been so exposed to cruelty and betrayal that it is difficult for them to trust even their partners, so that the degree of intimacy in the relationship is damaged. For example, certain caresses can generate more anxiety than pleasure, because they are carried out in delicate areas (belly, neck, etc.).

In these cases, it is best to "force" yourself to trust the person you love, and think that you really what generates anxiety is not her, but the attempts to cross a certain threshold of intimacy, something that at some point in the past brought us bad results and left an emotional imprint on one's own mind. It is very useful to start by exposing ourselves to lighter forms of intimacy, to gradually progress from there.

So, leaving space for the other person to take the initiative and show that nothing bad is happening is an excellent way for our body to get used to not activating alertness every time we expose our vulnerabilities.

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3. Learn to give support and not practical advice when necessary

As emotional contexts that they are, relationships are based more on affection than on giving advice and exchanging practical information about how things work. Ultimately the latter can be achieved through many means, but the couple's company is unique, and offers the possibility to connect at such a deep level that it goes beyond the simple “transmission of data".

That is why, to generate intimacy in love relationships, it must be clear that emotional support is the best we can give and that, for this, it is more useful to listen and empathize than to limit ourselves to transforming what we hear into indications and instructions on how the other person should live life.

After all, most of the concerns and problems that are discussed in the intimate context of the couple's relationship are not the result of a lack of information (in that case solving them would not be so difficult) but on aspects more related to the fears themselves, the situations that generate anxiety, etc.

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4. It favors the appearance of those conversations

Through the word it is also possible to build intimacy. Of course, at the beginning it is better not to do it abruptly and very directly.

You can start by telling a very personal story about your past so that your partner goes into that story and the narration begins to remind you of certain experiences in your life. Thus starting with a story that resonates emotionally with both parties in the relationship, it is more easy to start a spontaneous conversation about your own and intimate experiences, which normally do not come out light.

5. Do not judge or trivialize

It may seem very obvious, but in practice some people tend to use sarcasm and sour humor as a mechanism to trivialize stories about personal experiences and thus interrupt that conversation and change the subject (to start talking about something more comfortable and less compromising). Avoid this and, when you notice that the next thing you are going to say is on this line, give yourself a warning. Prevent these types of strategies Knowing them beforehand is a good way to make intimate conversations flow well.