Real love or company love?

In life there will always be the need to love and be loved; but... How difficult is it to do? Love tends to bring with it a variety of problems that on thousands of occasions we cannot decipher, there are questions that leave you breathless and even without the desire to continue.

However, no matter how many bitter experiences you have, you are always expecting to find that ideal partner with whom you have always dreamed, that person with whom you can be yourself without fear of being rejected; that individual who can become your best friend, your companion love.

The search for that person is constant, is done through friends, work, university, neighborhood, church and even on internet pages; That's right! There are dating sites where everyone is looking for that dream partner, where they spend hours and hours analyzing each profile with the idea of ​​finding the right one.

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What happens when that "soul mate" is not found at the desired time?

Many times you go through a crisis of anxiety and depression that can fracture your self-esteem, making you think that you are not fit to live a true love; This leads you to pay attention to any individual with the idea of ​​not being alone, but it will generate more feelings of loneliness, frustration and indignation with life.

Why does this happen? We are so focused on what they will say, on the parameters of society and even on the "happiness" of the other, that the purpose is to fit in without understanding that Before aspiring to live a real love, you must love yourself first..

It is important to recognize yourself to be able to share your life with someone special; You must be that person you want to be with. That is, if you don't love being alone, if you don't enjoy yourself... How can another person enjoy your company? If you yourself don't enjoy yourself, that means there's nothing good you can offer, since you can't give what you don't have. Loving you, valuing you, enjoying yourself, knowing you, enjoying yourself is the main thing before meeting someone. When you ask a person to share your life, you must be sure that they will be a good company; otherwise you will waste time with someone who will only stagnate your life and will not let you enjoy it freely.

Many times I hear repeating "the train is leaving me", "let's go with the wrong one, while the right one arrives" this, in order not to spend time alone; Which often makes me ask: Are you so boring that you need to be with someone to have fun? And what if you are an older person? Does love have age limits? But what I wonder the most is where is your self-esteem? Why are you so focused on what they will say?

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To do?

To find true love, you must know yourself first, learn to be alone; understand what your expectations are and be clear about your desires, goals and dreams so as not to make a mistake when finding a person, so you will stop looking for someone to make you happy, because... You already are! You will look for someone who complements your happiness and accompanies you on the path of life.

To achieve this, you must be very patient and become aware of reality, remember that the only thing you can Choosing in your life is your partner, since you did not choose your parents, neither did your siblings, much less your children; but to your love of company yes, with whom sharing your life must be a task well done, calmly and without haste.

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What happens if I make a mistake in choosing?

No problem, falling to get up will never be falling; You must understand that all people are different and that the only sure thing in life is death; Even if you look for that ideal person and be careful when finding it, you may be wrong when choosing it; The only thing you must be clear about is not to lose your bearings, and to understand that true love, real love is one that becomes companion love over the years; It is the love that is required to grow old, to share the last years of life.

Many people make the wrong choice, or perhaps they made hasty choices due to social pressures, but over time they realize that this chosen person causes them emotional damage, psychological; and they stay there, putting aside their happiness due to unfounded fears, primarily in society, for the economy and even for their children; children who will leave when they are older, and to whom by staying you are causing greater damage.

So keep in mind that you have the ability to get ahead and find a real love with whom you can share all the dreamed things.

A true love is who drives you every day to be better, who accompanies you to live and not the one who wants you to give up your life to live his or hers; is who is with you to share the gift of life.

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Where do I find that person with whom I can share my life?

There is no exact place where you can find it; You just have to be patient and meanwhile enjoy life, know yourself, make an improved version of yourself every day, go to therapy to remove all those ghosts from the past that oppress you; in this way you will find security in yourself, and when that good company arrives, you will feel that you live intensely even with all the ups and downs that arise, (that will arise because there are no relationships perfect).

But since you have already done your part, there is already confidence in you; you will be able to vibrate, laugh with all the crazy things and occurrences that are in a relationship; and even if you enjoy your solitude, you will want to share every moment with that person, you will not want them to get away even a bit. only moment, but when it is far away, you are so sure that you do not feel distrustful of what is doing.

If there are fights in the relationship, is it because I did not choose well?

While it is true that all people are imperfect, no one will come into your life to make it perfect, since life is like a roller coaster, there are ups and downs.

The differences between you and your partner will often cause conflicts, but despite all of them, you will always feel that you have been the best. decision that you have been able to make and you will be grateful to God, to life, to whoever you believe in, because you feel that it is the best gift you could have had.

What you should pay attention to is that with the differences there is no violence of any kind; if there is, you should seek help.

In conclusion, real love is no different than companion love; these two are the set of a true love, which merges with another person, but which must be the one you have with yourself. Loving you really is necessary because you will be your company throughout your life; If you still feel that you have not been able to truly love yourself, do not hesitate to seek professional help to do so. believe me that it is the most wonderful thing that can exist in life, a psychologist will help you, invest in you!