How to deal with disturbing emotions with Mindfulness

One of the main components that are part of a large proportion of therapeutic processes becomes managing emotions, especially those that destabilize us negatively or those that have an unpleasant connotation such as anger, worry (fear) or sadness.

A basic principle in the psychological work of emotions is the learning of both their identification, their handling and their expression in an adaptive way. The opposite processes, that is, repression or avoidance, usually lead to the appearance of significant discomfort in the medium and long term. In this sense, and especially in the face of disturbing emotions, it is useful to resort to Mindfulness, or Mindfulness, to manage them.

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Identifying disturbing emotions

One of the main objectives in achieving stability and emotional well-being involves dealing with the feelings that are generated after the experience. knowledge of a specific situation, process them in a rational and realistic way and, finally, issue a response of acceptance and adequate assimilation of said discomfort. As Simón (2011) defends, a fundamental process in achieving this objective lies in "calming the mind and seeing clearly".

It seems necessary to train oneself in "disidentifying" with the intense emotion experienced at a given moment in order to to be able to analyze it with greater perspective and clarity.

One of the most recognized theories on how emotions are produced was the one proposed by James-Lange at the end of the century. XIX, from which the hypothesis was established that the physiological changes produced in the organism are transmitted by he autonomic nervous system towards the cerebral cortex and derived from it, emotions arise. Thus, these authors opposed the initial theoretical principle that defended that emotions are the cause of physiological change. For James-Lange, the individual does not cry because he is sorry, but he is sorry because he cries.

Subsequently, the Cannon-Bard approach at the beginning of the 20th century achieved a greater consensus regarding the physiological explanation of emotions postulating that both the bodily reaction and the emotion occur simultaneously and are interdependent. In this way, the idea began to be accepted as valid that a fundamental factor in the identification of Emotions becomes the analysis in the physiological reaction that a person emits before an experience concrete.

On the other hand, from the most current approaches to the emotional intelligence construct, it is understood that there is a bidirectional relationship between emotions and thoughts. That is to say, that both influence each other, therefore, another essential element to observe consists of the type of cognitions that a person generates when interpreting a specific experience.

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Coping with disturbing emotions

Simón (2011), an expert in the area of ​​Mindfulness techniques, has proposed a set of seven steps, whose components can be alterable in their order or appearance, which can serve as guide in coping with emotions that are difficult to manage either by its intensity or by its depth:

1. Stall

Stop doing what you have in hand (an action, a conversation, etc.), interrupting the disturbing instinctive emotional reaction that has resulted from a particular event.

2. Breath deeply

Taking 5 breaths from the diaphragm, respecting the 5-8 cycle (5 seconds of inspiration and 8 of expiration).

3. Become aware of emotion and bodily changes

Is about identify what emotions are being produced and the thoughts that accompany them to the emotion, as well as whether they are accompanied by a behavioral intention (a behavioral response).

4. accept the experience

From the active and conscious experience of the emotion, a series of phases of aversion, curiosity, tolerance, permission and friendship towards the emotion in question take place.

5. self pity

It consists of giving affection and affection to oneself, instead of issuing judgments of guilt or anger, for example, having felt said disturbing emotion.

6. Release

This step involves differentiating the emotion from the "I", the disidentification, to let go of said feeling.

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7. Deciding to act or not to act

Do this depending on the circumstances of the situation, assessing the benefits and drawbacks to issue a response at that time.

Acceptance or conformity?

Possibly, in relation to the guide exposed above, one of the most complex phases corresponds to point four: the acceptance of the disturbing emotion. At this point it is necessary to make a fundamental distinction between this concept and that of conformity or resignation.

In the first place, one of the biggest discrepancies between the two constructs is the absence of judgments, criticisms, and evaluations of the experience of the emotion proper to acceptance. To do this, the first step is get rid of so-called cognitive labels, the qualifying adjectives that describe the emotion as disturbing in order to eliminate the expectations or descriptive prejudices of said emotional experience.

It is, therefore, about perform a BOTTOM-UP type of mental processing of said feeling, where the person focuses her concentration on living the experience as if it were the first time, exploring sensations and perceptions without classifying them, without valuing them. In this way, the person changes their relationship with the experience of the emotion in question, ceasing to be a relationship with a negative or unpleasant meaning. This finally makes it easier for the person to disassociate themselves from the emotion without getting caught up in it.

Another relevant point is the active nature of acceptance, as opposed to the passive nature that is attributed to resignation or conformity. In the first case, the person makes the conscious decision to experience emotions and thoughts with full attention, voluntarily and actively.

Finally, within the previous fourth point of Simon's guide, the following five moments follow one another: from which the individual manages to make feasible the change in the relationship with his emotion disturbing:

• Aversion: the person does not want to feel that emotion because of its destabilizing and unpleasant nature and resists it.
• Curiosity: the person begins to focus her attention only on observing what she is feeling, without valuing or judging it.
• Tolerance: the person increases his acceptance of the emotion although certain resistances are still present.
• Permission: each time the resistances are less since the judgments of the emotion are being eliminated.
• Friendship: the person embraces the emotion since he accepts it as an experience that entails personal learning. At this point, the feeling of compassion towards oneself begins to be activated where the individual gives themselves permission to feel that emotion in a kind way, without issuing self-criticism or guilt.

In conclusion

One of the most useful applications of Mindfulness or Full Attention techniques is closely related to the competence in Emotional Intelligence, specifically in the process of identification, management and expression of emotions that can cause discomfort.

The guidance offered above can be a useful strategy for modify how we relate to our emotions and we go from seeing them as something unpleasant to avoid or ignore to understand them as necessary and beneficial processes for one's own psychological well-being. These types of practices can bring us closer to a greater acceptance of this type of emotions, greatly reducing the negative connotation that we could give them a priori.

Bibliographic references:

• Simon, v. and Germer, C. (col.) (2011). Learning to practice Mindfulness (10th ed.). Madrid: Editions Seal.
• Lazarus, a. m. (2012) Learning to practice Mindfulness. Papers of the Psychologist, 2012. Vol. 33(1), p. 68-73. Complutense University of Madrid.