Lack of empathy in the couple: 8 tips on what to do

No couple relationship is free of difficulties; what will make the difference is the ability to face these conflicts and overcome them. When the lack of empathy in the couple becomes a problem, it is difficult to bring the problems to fruition.

In this article we will see how lack of empathy significantly affects couples, and we will review some effective ways to prevent and overcome this situation when it has already become a difficulty for the relationship.

• Related article: "Empathy, much more than putting yourself in the other's place"

Lack of empathy in the couple: how does it affect us?

The lack of empathy in the couple is a situation that intensely affects their coexistence, taking into account that empathy refers to the ability of people to put themselves in the place of another and feel her suffering in a real way. That is, if you are an empath you can come to feel the pain of other people as yours, and feel sorry for them.

In love relationships, this factor is essential for the couple to be able to overcome the adversities of affective coexistence.

When there is a lack of significant empathy within the love bond, then the relationship becomes dysfunctional, resulting negative for both members.

On the one hand, the person who does not receive empathy finds himself in a vulnerable situation, since he is alone independently. After the other person is with her in terms of relationship (technically), there is no real accompaniment on an emotional level or affective.

On the other hand, the member of the couple who does not provide empathy is placed in a situation of inflicting affective pain, although not do anything to intentionally offend or mistreat the other, it is precisely this lack of emotionality that results in damage.

In couple relationships, the members must be emotionally linked so that the sadness of the other becomes the sadness of both, and starting from that affective connection the best solutions can be reached together.

But when there is no empathic bond on the part of one, or even on both sides, then the relationship wears out. When there is no empathy, some relationships are able to last for a while, but usually end on bad terms.

How to overcome this situation in the couple?

Now we are going to see a list of tips to overcome the lack of empathy in the couple, or failing that, better rethink things with respect to your relationship.

1. Value your partner's opinions

The Empathy Bond it begins to cultivate from mutual respect, a first step may be to take more into account the opinions of our partner. Not only listen to them to answer them, but actively listen to what they have to tell us.

• You may be interested in: "Active listening: the key to communicating with others"

2. Avoid value judgments

A fairly common mistake in relationships is usually value judgments issued at the whim of one of the members, without having any kind of support to do so. This kind of unjustified opinions only manage to distance the other further and generate distrust in the relationship; they should be avoided.

3. cultivate patience

A virtue that should prevail in relationships, especially in difficult times, is patience. This ability to endure the impulses to act or say things at a certain moment leads us towards an empathic behavior towards the other since facilitates communication; We must encourage patience.

4. Promotes understanding

We must understand that we will not always be right, and that sometimes it is good to give up when we have made a mistake. It is important to reach understanding in relationships, to be able to see things as they are really happening, and not as we would like them to be.

5. practice kindness

a couple relationship must be based on mutual respect and kindness in the members of the affective bond. Regardless of the jokes that may exist in the context of the relationship, affectionate treatment should always prevail in the couple's dynamics. This point is essential to achieve empathy.

6. Take care of the way you express yourself

It is not the same to participate in things in a friendly and calm way, than to do it through shouting and insults. This aspect is also part of the kindness in the couple, but based on the assertive speech. It is not enough just to say things, but you also have to know how to say them.

7. make peace a goal

Regardless of the conflict that arises, try to visualize a possible outcome where both end up in healthy peace, both at the relationship level and at the individual level. If you make peace a goal within your relationship, you will eventually achieve solve problems appropriately and constructively.

8. Bet on honesty

Sometimes the lack of empathy can be caused by the absence of affection towards the other person, in Sometimes there are cases where couples maintain a relationship based solely on the custom of be together.

This is not recommended for any of the members of the couple, the ideal is to be honest with yourself and be aware of what we feel for the other person. Sometimes it is better to step aside for the emotional well-being of both.

Bibliographic references:

• Fehr, B., Russell, J. (1991). The Concept of Love Viewed From a Prototype Perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
• Shaver, P. R., Wu, S., & Schwartz, J. c. (1992). Cross-cultural similarities and differences in emotion and its representation: A prototype approach.