Why does love end in a relationship?

Falling in love is always something of a mystery, since it appears as a deeply irrational and emotion-based phenomenon. It appears suddenly, often without us being able to foresee it, and it changes everything: both how we behave and the way we perceive what happens to us.

But something as strange as the desire to form a couple bond is the end of that affective impulse. It is not easy to give an answer about why love ends, given that being a phenomenon based on emotions, it is not based on ideas or beliefs, something static and relatively easy to study, but in a combination of unpredictable neural activity, hormones, and interaction with the environment and with those who inhabit it.

However, it is possible to identify different elements that influence the chances of love ending. We are going to talk about them in this article.

• Related article: "Psychology of love: this is how our brain changes when we find a partner"

why does love ends?

Love is one of the human dimensions that has generated the most interest over the centuries, inspiring all kinds of research and explanatory proposals both in the arts and in the sciences. It is not for less, since it can become

one of the main sources of motivation and meaning for our lives.

Naturally, many of these questions focus on the way in which falling in love arises, that phase of the life in which it seems that we stop being ourselves to start thinking about something bigger than ourselves, the couple. However, it is also important to ask yourself about what makes love end. In a way, seeing what can weaken or even kill that love bond tells us, in retrospect, what the true nature of those feelings was.

now love It is a complex phenomenon because there is an almost unlimited number of situations that lead to it.. The state of not in love is the one that occurs by default, in which we have all been, so at the In practice, almost any context in which one lives relatively well it is possible that the love. However, once falling in love has occurred, it is easier to identify the main causes of the end of love. Let's see what they are.

1. it was just infatuation

Although it may seem strange, love and falling in love are not the same. The second is a much more punctual phenomenon, of short duration, which usually lasts no more than a few months, between four and six, while love lasts much longer.

The fundamental difference between the two is that falling in love is based on a certain tension based on uncertainty about what will happen to the other person and, in general, ignorance about how is. In practice, that means we idealize it.

Thus, it is relatively common for when the crush fades, and with it the idealization goes awayno love left In these cases, the relationship was probably based on the expectation of having a relationship with an idealized version of the lover.

• You may be interested in: "Love and falling in love: 7 surprising investigations"

2. The bad living conditions

The idea that love conquers everything is a myth. Love, like any psychological phenomenon, is linked to the context, and if the situation in which we live is not conducive, the love bond will weaken.

One of the clearest examples of this has to do with harsh working conditions. If you have to work many hours and invest a great effort in it, it will be more difficult to dedicate time to the couple, and that will generate a clear wear and tear that, in the long run, can end the relationship.

3. monotony

Love always entails significant sacrifices, such as having less time for oneself, investing in common expenses, or exposing oneself more to conflict situations.

This wear, which is guaranteed, can be combined with a feeling of monotony that, in the case of married life, is noticeable more, because by living with another person there are fewer excuses for experiencing the same things every day, the same habits, the same routines. It should be a lifestyle where opportunities to do new things together arise, but this does not always happen, and that is very frustrating.

And it is that living single, monotony can be seen as something over which you have more control, but if it appears in the context of a romantic relationship, the feeling that nothing is going to get better and that boredom is part of the "contract" that unites these two people becomes very patent. Expectations of change for the better lose strength, and with them the illusion for the relationship of a couple can also go.

4. communication problems

Living with a partner makes it very easy to turn communication problems into Serious problems that end up becoming chronic. If important misunderstandings are generated and these are not managed correctly, a state may be fueled. of suspicion and paranoia that goes totally against the logic of what a fluid and functional affective relationship should be.