How to overcome the fear of rebuilding your life without your ex

How long has it been since you lived your love breakup? Has it been weeks, months, years perhaps? And in all this time, despite the fact that what you most want is to overcome that separation, you continue to feel pain, do you still remember the good times and still can't imagine being happy again without your ex?

If so, you should know that part of everything you feel is a common reaction and is part of the process until you get over a separation. Yes, have all those emotions and negative thoughts is common, however, you cannot allow yourself to stagnate and deny yourself the opportunity to build a new life without your ex.

• Related article: "The 5 problems of love breakups, and how to deal with them"

Overcome the fear of rebuilding your life without your ex

The experience of a love break is the end of a stage in your life, but it is also, whether you like it or not, the beginning of a new one.

After all, life goes on, your obligations are still present and you surely have entire decades to live. Therefore,

stagnation cannot be an option. You have the power to rebuild your life after a separation and with this article I want to motivate you to do it.

Today I want to talk exclusively about one of the biggest barriers that hinder the process of overcoming a love breakup: the fear of rebuilding your life without your ex. Let's understand the problem from the beginning.

You started a love relationship and with that person you lived various experiences that brought you together as a couple. You walked together hand in hand, you saw, you laughed, you lived in intimacy, etc. You both integrated into each other's social groups, interacting with their friends and family, and even making future plans. Thus, little by little, during all the time that you remained in that love relationship, you built a lifestyle with your ex.

But now, the love relationship is over and you have to face the lifestyle you built with your ex; the difference is that now you must live it without his help. Now you must attend the meetings alone and the first times you will have to clarify that your ex will not be present again. You will want to keep distance with certain friends that are related to your ex and of course, there will be certain daily activities that will remind you of the absence of your loved one.

In other words, your life is framed by a lifestyle tied to your ex and, the longer you stay like this, the more difficult it will be for you to overcome the separation.

• You may be interested in: "The stages of heartbreak and its psychological consequences"

What's stopping you from rebuilding your life without your ex?

You are reading this article because you want to get over the breakup you experienced, but you don't know how to do it or you feel like you won't be able to do it. But think carefully, what is it that prevents you from rebuilding your life without the shadow of your ex. Is it perhaps the pain you feel when you think that all your dreams have vanished? Is it perhaps because everything around you reminds you of your ex? Or perhaps, do you feel that you depend on the presence of your ex to get ahead?

Any of these reasons it will generate an immense fear of facing the world without your ex-partner. However, most of these fears are generated by your own mental barriers and can be faced successfully.

To achieve this, you must start by being willing to do it and then change your mental focus to affirm that you can rebuild your life without your ex. Think, for example, about your dreams. Did you dream of taking a trip? If so, you must understand that you can still do it, regardless of the absence of your ex. Plan the fulfillment of this dream considering that it will not be as you planned with your ex, it will simply be different.

Look around you and identify everything that reminds you of your ex and remove everything that is not essential. You don't need to keep the photographs and memories. Nor do you need to maintain the same decoration and distribution of your home. So don't be afraid and get rid of everything that stormily reminds you of the absence of your ex.

Perhaps your problem is that you feel that you are entirely dependent on your ex, because if so, you must be sure that you are capable of living without your ex. You may not know how many things work, but today you live surrounded by information and you can always learn how to do it yourself. And even if you feel like you need help, you need to look beyond your dependency on your ex, and ask your family and friends for support.

You have the power to overcome the breakup you experienced and to rebuild your life. Believing in yourself is the first step to achieve it.

Getting out of your comfort zone is part of the way to overcome the separation

Yes, experiencing an improvement is an extremely painful situation and implies a great restructuring in your life. That's why you must get out of comfort zone without letting discomfort stop you.

There will be moments of pain and you will experience various reactions to the sadness caused by the absence of your ex. All this is common and normal. Your emotions have a special value in this process and you must treat yourself to a moment to experience the grief and sadness of your separation and thus mark the end of one stage and the beginning of the next.

Yes, if there is a next stage after what you experienced with your ex and it is in this process that you must embark.

Now that the relationship is over, it's time to decide to build a new life without the shadow of your ex. It is time to build a new lifestyle that favors the process of overcoming the love breakup you experienced. How to do it? Below you will find 2 ideas to achieve it.

1. Discover

Write a list of at least 5 activities that you would like to do in the next 3 months. Even better if these activities are new to you, in this way, they will encourage your brain to focus more on using your abilities and this, in turn, it will boost your self-esteem.

Surround yourself with people and seek to discover something new about each of them, take an interest in their lives and ask questions. Consider that your ex is very present in your thoughts at this time and that, therefore, it is better if the conversation is focused and directed by other people.

Find out what traits you admire in other people and seek to obtain them yourself. To do it, include in your agenda reminders about the attitude you want to have and about the description of yourself that you want to define you from now on.

2. Take action, one step at a time

Understand that getting over the breakup you experienced is a process, not something that will happen overnight. It will start with the decision to actually overcome it, it will continue with each activity you do to achieve it. and it will culminate with the day in which you accept the lessons of the past and feel satisfied with the life that you carry And since it is a process, you should start with one step at a time.

Every day is a new opportunity to leave the past behind and focus on your present. Every day you have the option of choose new activities to engage in, new topics to talk about and new people to meet. And it all happens gradually with every decision you make. So ask yourself: what is keeping you from focusing on rebuilding your life?

Life goes on

Whether or not you get over the fear of building a life without your ex, life goes on quickly.

Surely you have already realized that, even on those days when you felt that you could not get out of bed, the obligations continued to be present. Despite the fact that you didn't have the head to think about anything, the routine continued as always, the responsibilities remained and time passed.

But be careful, there is a big difference between time passing and you still stuck in a love break that you lived, or that time passes and every day you do something more to get over your ex and recover your peace inside. life goes on and you you have the power to decide how much of your present life you are going to devote to a past relationship.

Now, I understand that you are not used to going out and presenting yourself to the world. I understand if you are afraid because you got used to doing everything with the help of your ex. I can imagine you having defeatist thoughts before trying it and being tempted to boycott your goal of overcoming it. But you should know that you are the only builder of all those barriers mental and, therefore, you are also the only one who has the power to bring them down. The decision is in your hands.

Do you want to get over the breakup you experienced? So, decide to do it and focus your activities, thoughts and attitudes on what is possible to achieve.

Good luck and see you soon.