10 signs to know if you are living authentic love

Feeling true love for someone and being reciprocated is possibly one of the best experiences that people can feel.

Having that special someone by your side every day, living unforgettable moments and knowing that the person you love will be with you in good times and bad, is priceless. Whoever has experienced it will know that he has lived the happiest moments with his faithful companion..

different kinds of love

Authentic love could be considered the purest and most noble love., although it does not always manifest itself in a love relationship. We often confuse authentic love with passion or falling in love. The first is that love that is based on trust and respect, on the purest friendship; and these characteristics do not have to occur, for example, in passionate love, because, as the saying goes, "authentic love is a friendship with erotic moments". Authentic love is a love that allows us to be free and accept our partner as they are, you have to work on it, and it has to do with the person's values.

Some theorists have tried to approach this concept, which is actually complex, to classify the different types of love. One of the best known is Sternberg, the author of the Triangular Theory of love. His theory states that there are three elements that interact with each other to form one type of love or another: intimacy, passion and commitment. For example, love with intimacy and commitment is sociable love. In addition to this, and according to Sternberg's theory, there are other types of love: affection, romantic love, infatuation, fatuous love or empty love.

• You can learn more about the different types of love in our article: ”Sternberg's triangular theory of love”

Signs of true love

However, in addition to this classification, other authors speak of true or authentic love, which is a type of love that has a series of characteristics that you can find below. The signs of true love are:

1. It is a mature love

For love to be authentic, it is not only necessary that there is intensityRather, both people must behave like adults and must help and do their part so that the relationship continues on its way together. For love to be mature, some characteristics need to be met, for example: good communication and the understanding that the other member of the couple also has feelings.

Mature love is based on the idea that this kind of love has to be worked on and things don't happen by themselves. Two people can be very attracted to each other, yet not be able to control their emotions. The result is usually misunderstandings and excessively passionate behavior that can deteriorate the relationship.

• You may be interested in: ”Mature love: why is the second love better than the first?”

2. It is rational and realistic

And it is that mature and authentic love is also a rational and realistic love, in which the person is aware of what they are experiencing and not only feels but also thinks.

Rational love knows that people are not perfect and that the relationship can go through ups and downs.. The real problem is not the ups and downs themselves, but how they are solved. Rational love is not fed only by feeling nor is it pure impulse. In other words, it is a sensible love.

3. It is based on friendship

Authentic love is not the result of simple attraction, but there is something in it that makes you really care about the other person, that you feel her close to her, that she be your friend. You share good times with your partner, you enjoy her presence, you learn new things with him or her, and you are better than any friend you may have. She is, without a doubt, your best friend.

4. there is commitment

Commitment is key in relationships and in authentic love. This type of love is characteristic of individuals who are prepared for a relationship and have a clear vision of stability. Commitment is not a bond, but rather the desire to be with that person over time.

5. Common projects

Commitment helps create common projects and envision a shared future with that special person. If the love is not true, it is difficult for the two members of the couple to make plans together beyond the present, for example, moving in together.

6. is negotiated

Authentic love is based on negotiation and dialogue, because each member of the couple does their part to understand the needs of the other person and, in addition, understands that the relationship is a matter of two. Authentic love is altruistic and it works because it is a mature love, in which communication is a basic pillar of the relationship.

7. It is unconditional and respects the other person

And therefore, It is a love that is based on respect. It is unconditional, and when things go wrong, they try to work it out instead of looking the other way. That is why it is negotiated and alternatives are proposed to solve the problems.

8. does not make you suffer

If you are in a relationship that makes you suffer, then it is not true love.. In true love, the relationship is symmetrical: one day you give and the next day the other member of the couple gives. There may be misunderstandings, but the good times far outweigh the bad times.

• Related article: “23 signs that you have a 'toxic relationship' as a couple”.

9. It's free

It is free in the sense that there are no ties. The person does not pressure the other person or force or submit with a manipulative attitude. Love flows because the two members are comfortable with what they have and what they think. They respect and love each other.

10. Each member behaves as it is

For two people to love each other authentically, they must first love themselves.. Authentic love is born from one's own love for oneself. We can hardly love other people if we do not love ourselves as we are. If the relationship with ourselves is bad, as a result, we will be dependent on our partner. That is not authentic love.

• Related article: "Self-acceptance: 5 psychological tips to achieve it"