Roommate Syndrome in the couple: characteristics and effects

When a relationship fails, there are many questions we can ask ourselves to find out exactly what went wrong and what was the reason for the breakup.

It is possible that sometimes the relationship cools down, the passion ends and the signs of intimacy end, but people continue to live under the same roof because they continue to have common interests, something that happens more often than not we believe.

This phenomenon is known in psychology as the "roommate syndrome". and it occurs in those couples who end up living together but without sharing everything that is common in a couple: mainly intimacy and sex.

This syndrome is one of the main causes of divorces and separations that occur throughout the life of a couple and the truth is that it is a social and psychological phenomenon that has very specific characteristics and causes. concrete.

If you want to know more about this phenomenon, here is a specialized summary on the characteristics and main causes of the so-called roommate syndrome in the context of the couple.

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Characteristics of roommate syndrome

These are the main characteristics that can make us identify a roommate syndrome in the couple.

1. Good relationship

One of the main characteristics of this very particular syndrome is the fact that the couple continues to maintain a good relationship, with respect and cordiality; however, the flame of passion has been extinguished.

The good relationship between both parties also makes it more difficult to break up with the couple and generally people with this type of relationship end up giving in.

2. Only common projects sustain the relationship

Many couples who end up feeling like roommates continue to have many projects in common, such as They can be the upbringing of children, the fact of maintaining a house, the mortgage, debts or bank accounts in common.

All these common interests make it very difficult to separate or divorce, so the couple decides to move on with their relationship.

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3. Preference for children

Another of the basic characteristics of the syndrome of the roommates is the preference that parents end up developing for their children to the detriment of the relationship with the other member of the couple, to the point that the relationship of marriage or courtship is cornered.

This means that before spending time with their partner, fathers and mothers prefer to spend time with their children: having dinner with them; accompanying them to sleep and sleeping with them, and providing them with permanent support 24 hours a day.

4. lack of privacy

The lack of intimacy and sex is usually, in the long run, the main characteristic of the syndrome of the roommate in the couple, a problem that ends up deteriorating the relationship and endangering their future.

Intimacy can also consist of doing things together, having a romantic date, going out on a weekend. to town or have a long and deep conversation with who was once our average orange.

5. Monotony

Monotony and routine are also common experiences of loss of connection or passion in a couple. The feeling arises that in the intimate sphere everything is based on performing repetitive acts, as if it were a bureaucratic procedure. That is why relationships must be based on improvisation, creativity and surprising the other person on a daily basis, so that coexistence continues to be exciting.

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Main causes of Roommate Syndrome

There are many causes that can end up generating psycho partner syndrome in many couples, these are the most important.

1. Lack of time together

Spending little time together is one of the most common reasons why a couple ends up distancing and ends up living as if they were roommates: without intimacy or real connection Between both.

Difficulties in reconciling work with life as a couple and the demands of family life with children who must be attended to constantly end up having as a consequence a progressive cooling of the love relationship, because there is no material possibility to connect emotionally.

2. unresolved conflicts

Frequent conflicts and those that have not been resolved for a long time are also another common cause that can lead to roommate syndrome in a couple.

This type of entrenched and prolonged conflicts end up separating the couple and sooner or later they end up generating great discomfort and a situation of mutual disconnection between the two people.

3. Lack of common care

The lack of common care extended over time can also end up taking its toll on the couple and end up cooling the relationship.

Some care and attention that could be given during the previous phase of falling in love can end getting lost along the way and making one or both members of the couple feel that they no longer matter to the other person.

4. Lack of communication

The lack of communication is usually the key to many of the problems that arise in the couple and one of the deficits that further erode coexistence and the relationship between two people who live together.

The less communication there is between the couple, the more likely it is that a roommate dynamic will develop.

5. loss of magic

The magic, the passion and the connection that existed in the first bars of the relationship, during the period of falling in love, end up running out over time.

It is the couple's job to ensure that this magic is not completely lost and that the flame of the first months of the relationship continues to be kept alive.

6. children's interference

Parents with daughters and sons suffer this type of syndrome more frequently, since with the arrival of children in a married life, these they become the main interest for each of the parents and the center of their new world. This interference can occur in many ways during life as a couple.

7. work obsession

The obsession with work in one or both members of the couple can cause them to end up emotionally distancing themselves and less and less signs of intimacy and passion.

Some people who decide to throw themselves completely into their jobs with a partner may end up losing the quality of life they they had in the love and family environment, coming to end up living in the same house but without any type of passion or life in couple.