What is (and how should it be) love in a relationship?

Love is a choice that is made based on the background that one has according to the psychosocial environment in which the individual develops during the first years of life.. It is such a beautiful word with diverse and questionable meanings that encompasses patience, joy, unconditionality; and the demonstrations of this, which can range from being a sponge that absorbs the emotions of the day to day to tasting the coffee before giving it to the couple.

Today we find people who are sad and even very angry with life for not having found true love. But what is true love? Your priority must be to love yourself, to later have the ability to share life with that beautiful being that comes your way.

• We recommend you read: "Unconditional love: what it is, how to detect it and why it can be harmful"

How to know which is the ideal person for me?

Loving is a decision that must be made consciously, deciding to share life with someone who knows you well enough. To know that you are sad despite being laughing is an arduous but effective task, it is the only task that you must do well. It is the only decision you make in your life; that's right, you can't choose your parents, you can't choose your children; but you can choose your partner, you can decide whether or not to stay with that person and decide to love them even deeply enough to spend the rest of your life with them. This decision must be made consciously, calmly and without haste. Because he is the person with whom you will share certain sins that will never come to light and will become deep, unique and unforgettable secrets that you will laugh extremely when you remember.

That person you choose is who you can be with without fear of anything and with whom you will have the freedom to express your fears, anxieties, dreams, desires and ideals, no matter how silly they may seem; trust and acceptance is with all the defects and virtues. The person who makes you think and makes your thoughts fly, turning them into dreams and making them come true is the ideal one. She is the one who wants you to advance in life achieving all your goals, and she helps you achieve them unconditionally; many times in silence. She is the one who is with you in your gray days (sickness-sadness) and seeks to make you smile by showing you with every action that you are not alone.

However; It's not easy to find it, it's like looking in a library where there are a thousand interesting books, but you can only choose one exclusively for you. You do it very calmly, right? Thinking very well which one to choose, controlling your anxiety because you know that it is the only one that you can take home without return; although for me; that person is not wanted, she comes into your life just when tranquility invades you. That is why the importance of taking care of your heart and healing the wounds caused in the past.

So, what is love?

Love is a gift; To love is to listen to what the other person wants to say with words and gestures.; entering with affection and care a heart that is often wounded by the blows that life and other people in whom one day he trusted have caused him. To love is simple, it is to know the other with all its imperfections; understanding that we are different and not perfect before the world, but if there is love there will be perfection for each other.

Love is wanting to be with that person all the time; even attract you more than going to watch football or go shopping with an unlimited card; It is the desire, to dedicate oneself to complement the happiness of the other. Love is yearning to conquer your partner every day even when you already have it; Do things carefully so as not to hurt your heart.

Understand your fragility, whether you are a man or a woman, both are fragile. Decide to look face to face in silence; to solve everything together. Loving goes beyond pleasure. It is leaving all that baggage that has hurt you and emptying your pockets, with the intention of starting a new path with that person, willing to travel wherever love takes you.

Enjoying love is beautiful, although it is not easy; everything that has been brought, everything that has been carried up to this point of the journey when meeting that person that one wishes to love, is what hurts and what must be healed. The ego must be broken for a real and genuine love to be born; if it's what you want and you don't know how to do it; I wait for you in therapy to help you and accompany you on this journey of life.