The 5 stages of heartbreak that exist after a breakup

As starting a relationship implicitly supposes the possibility that one day it will end, we show you what the stages of heartbreak are, just in case.

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Stages of heartbreak we go through after a breakup

These are the different phases that anyone who has lost their loved one goes through, in general:

1. Confusion

During this stage of heartbreak, the affected person is in shock, whether it has happened in a suddenly and has caught you by surprise as if it has been a long-considered situation and has finally arrived time to end the relationship.

It is a moment in which, although the reality that surrounded those two people has completely changed, something within oneself continues with the inertia of shared feelings intact, until they collide with the evidence that you are no longer with the person loved.

This process is repeated over and over again, reminding us that things have changed. forever. And that evidence needs to continually confront the times that are necessary in our interior to penetrate little by little in us and move on to the next stage of the lack of love in which we are in process.

2. Pain

Hopelessness comes during this stage of heartbreak. Once the initial confusion is over, the person going through this process begins to face the idea that nothing will ever be the same again.

Next to the acceptance that that person is no longer there There is also the loss of hope that could have at first, when one got to fantasize about the possibility of not losing his loved one. Objectivity arrives that allows us to move forward by letting go of self-deception, although sadness can become really intense and hinder progress if suffering is installed in a way pathological.

3. Adjudication of blame

The feeling of anger is usually common at this stage. The emotion of anger becomes more evident as the acceptance of the new situation is produced. It is going wrong and the question arises: Who is responsible for everything that has happened?

As that penalty is spent for what happened (and for the consequent change of situation in the person's life going through these stages of heartbreak), he begins to wonder who is responsible for having reached that point; herself, her partner, facts from her past together that were not resolved in a timely manner by either of them ...

The allocation of blame is natural and can become constantly changing, reflection is necessary to understand the facts, and of course, it takes humility to recognize the part of responsibility that there may be in oneself for everything that happened.

To put it in some way, it is time to untie the loose ends to discover the origin of the problems that were hidden before our very eyes.

4. Resignation

The acceptance of reality is complete and only allows surrender to the veracity of the facts. At this point, it has been confused because everything changes and our interior refuses to realize it, the deep sadness has appeared before the evidence that our partner is no longer by our side nor will it be again, the truth has been confronted and the appropriate responsibilities have been assigned.

What's left Resign yourself to the fact that the new situation is this. There is no longer what there was and the starting point is the current one. Familiarizing yourself with the sensations of this moment is necessary to stop perceiving them as something uncomfortable or strange.

Therefore, escaping from the true reality is not a real help because it will encapsulate the real emotions and they will emerge at some other time later, bringing back the unresolved conflict to that person.

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5. Reconstruction

The moment of recovery of normality begins. Sadness is left behind and the person who has successfully overcome the previous stages of heartbreak begins to perceive a new future, with other, more positive eyes.

At the time, her life recovers the direction consistent with its true essence. It can be said that she feels herself again and opens up to the experiences that she has always liked. Is now that she's ready to start over, with or without a new partner, but in any case, much stronger and more experienced by the experiences that she has had to face.

Bibliographic references

• Fromm, E. (2007). From having to being. Barcelona: Paidós.
• Triglia, A., Regader, B., and García-Allen, J. (2016). Psychologically speaking. Barcelona: Paidós Editions.