I am not happy with my partner: what can I do?

Being in love is, without a doubt, a unique experience that can make us feel complete.

But couple relationships are complex, and although we can start a relationship being fully in love, with the passage of time problems and conflicts can arise. If we don't manage them well, we can feel great dissatisfaction, tremendous frustration, and great pain that our romance is not going the way we wanted.

• Related article: "Coaching and partner: the focus on oneself, the other and the bond”

Love relationships have to be worked on

Love relationships are still interpersonal relationships, in which each member of the couple has their needs, their desires, their expectations, their beliefs, their values ​​... Believing that people fit together by magic is a mistake. In fact, it is a very common mistake, since novels or television promote a wrong idea of ​​what romantic love is.

To be successful in a relationship, it is important to work on it, have common goals, negotiate and reach agreements, communicate effectively, love from freedom

, trust the other and, of course, respect our lover. Although many times we are not aware, dissatisfaction in the couple is manifested due to poor communication, emotional deficiencies and irrational beliefs.

When this happens is when you think that he is no longer happy with his partner, and his way of being and his attitudes begin to change, perhaps even without realizing it.

• You may be interested: "The 4 types of love: what different kinds of love are there?"

How to detect that you are not happy as a couple

Knowing when one is not happy as a couple is relatively easy, because dissatisfaction appears and, therefore, so does unhappiness. What is not so easy is detecting the reasons why one is not happy as a couple, and it often requires a deep and objective self-reflection.

The first step to change is to be aware of what needs to be changed, since knowing the behaviors that are affecting the smooth running of the relationship is very important. But... how can we know what is wrong? A good strategy is to answer the questions that I ask you below.

1. Are there grudges? Why?

Love is a very intense feeling, and in some situations causes excessive reactions. This occurs because the emotional pain we feel when things are not going well in our love relationship is very deep and pervasive. Disputes with our partner hurt more than conflicts with other people around us and provoke a passionate reaction in us.

If you detect that there are grudges towards your partner, better than to solve them as soon as possible to avoid getting into a vicious cycle that makes the problem ever bigger.

2. Do you negotiate in conflicts?

One of the most frequent causes of couple conflicts is poor communication, so it is necessary to be assertive especially in the most difficult moments.

Each member of the couple has their own way of seeing the world, and reaching agreements is not always easy. In a love relationship we should not impose our opinions, and it is necessary to make use of dialogue. Knowing how to negotiate and reach agreements is of vital importance if what we want is for the relationship to last.

3. Do you agree on the important things?

That you always agree on all the decisions you have to make is impossible, just as it is that you always share the same points of view. But for a relationship to be lasting yes that It is essential that you reach agreements and agree on the important aspects. For example, common goals or core values.

Although each individual has their own scale of values, for the relationship to take hold it is necessary to build a common scale of values. It is important that you row together so that the boat moves forward.

4. Does it support you in difficult times?

Nobody is perfect, and as I have already said, conflicts in the couple can appear at any time.

But when you go through difficult times, such as losing your job or the loss of a loved one, it is always better to stick together than to throw each one aside. If your partner puts disputes aside to support you, it is a sign that they are committed to the relationship and to you.

5. Do intimate relationships work?

One of the factors that most influence the well-being of the couple are intimate relationships, which play a very important role in their unity and stability.

Although scientific studies suggest that quantity is not as important as quality, lack of sexual contactWhether due to monotony and other sexual problems, it can cause serious difficulties for the couple's proper progress. In these cases it is necessary to go to sexual therapy.

• Related article: "Sex therapy: what is it and what are its benefits”

6. Are you thinking of cheating on your partner?

Faithfulness is one of the fundamental values ​​to build a stable loving relationship and marriage; however, infidelity is very prevalent today. Overcoming it is not easy, as it is considered a betrayal and disloyalty.

Monotony or communication problems can be, many times, the root of infidelity. And although we sometimes think that when this happens only one of the members of the couple suffers, infidelity usually causes pain to both parties.

• Related article: "Infidelity: the second most important problem in relationships"

Going to couples therapy: a solution to improve well-being in the relationship

When a couple goes through any of the aforementioned problems and is able to detect it, if they put On your part, you may remedy and find your way to happiness again with the person you loves. However, many times it is unavoidable to have the help of a professional expert in this matter, that is, a couple psychotherapist.

Contrary to what happens in other forms of psychotherapy, it is not necessary to have received a diagnosis of mental disorder to turn to it, since couple psychologists do not focus only on the individual to help him find solutions, but on the relationship and the reasons that make it difficult.

Instituto Mensalus: Are you looking for help to regain happiness in your love relationship or to overcome a breakup?

Either because you want to regain happiness in your relationship or you want to overcome a couple breakup, the Mensalus Institute of Barcelona can help you. This clinic is considered one of the best psychotherapy centers in Spain, and not only offers couples therapy in person in Barcelona, ​​but also online, so that you can benefit from therapeutic sessions whenever you want and from wherever you are.

Mensalus has a team of highly specialized psychologists in sexual and couples therapy, so they can provide you with solutions and help you in the difficulties that you are going through in your relationship, whether to improve communication, get common goals back on track, overcome problems sexual (lack of desire or excitement, problems reaching orgasm, premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction, etc.), accept an infidelity, effectively cope with specific crises, combat distancing or any other situation that is affecting your well-being and that of your loved.

Its professionals apply techniques and strategies aimed at both individual and couple growth and enable you to learn new ways of relating to your partner or partner at the same time that they provide you with the necessary tools to overcome difficulties in the relationship and in the coexistence, couple conflicts and also overcome the lack of love in case one of the two decides to end the relationship.

• If you are interested in obtaining more information about this center, you just have to do click here.