Pleased: a good technique to connect with your partner

In a previous article, we talked about the importance of expanding our sexual repertoire, leaving aside the coitocentrism (focusing the sexual relationship almost exclusively on penetration) prevailing in our culture.

Today we propose a technique that is used in sexual therapy in order to reduce tension in the couple when problems appear. This strategy is a variant of the one developed by Masters and Johnson as early as the 1960s and 1970s, which they called "Sensory Focusing."

However, it is not necessary to suffer from a sexual problem in the environment of the couple to enjoy a session of mutual caresses, so the Pleasurable becomes a fun and pleasant exercise that helps to connect with the partner.

In the same way that Masters and Johnson established various levels within this technique, We are also going to diversify it into three steps, Pleased 1, 2 and 3. Today we present the first.

• Recommended article: "7 tantric sex exercises to find maximum pleasure"

How to do the Placereado 1 as a couple?

1. It is preferable to plan the day on which we will do the exercise, although improvising it can also work in these cases. Although there is not a minimum of times to perform, the more we do it the more we will see its benefits.

2. We will look for an ideal place that meets certain preferences such as: privacy, adequate temperature, comfort (the bed is ideal for exercising), or environmental preferences (relaxing music, soft lighting, candles, etc.). It is important to turn off the phone or put it in silent mode to avoid interruptions.

3. It is also essential to have a good attitude, to be motivated, not be very tired or in full digestion.

4. We start the exercise. One of the members of the couple lies naked on his stomach and with his eyes closed. The other, also naked, in a comfortable position begins to gently caress his partner from head to toe without forgetting any body part. It is not about doing a massage but rather transmitting our emotion through the hands, so the stimulation must be relaxed and pleasant.

5. When the one who is caressing reaches the feet, the one who is lying turns around and the exercise is repeated from the front as before, except for genitals and breasts, since we are in Placereado 1. Body stimulation should last at least fifteen minutes in total (about seven minutes for each side of the body).

6. After this, the eyes open, the one who was lying stands up and they take a few minutes to comment on how they have felt, the quality of the caresses, the affections, etc. Afterwards, the roles are changed, the one who has received the caresses now performs them and vice versa and the exercise is repeated as described in the previous points.

7. At the end of the exercise, the couple decides what will be the next, whether to start a sexual relationship or not, since there is no previous premise of ending up excited or having sex when finished. The objective of this strategy is therefore not to "force" anything more than giving and receiving pleasant caresses. We can use this experience to learn to ask, to know how to say yes or no, according to the wishes of each one and accept the negatives without getting angry, or living them as rejection.

What can we achieve by doing a Pleasurable 1?

• This technique helps us to degenitalize our sexual relations, that is, to use other parts of our body for a pleasant purpose, something that will undoubtedly broaden our erotic sensitivity throughout the skin. Let's not forget that current culture instills in us to focus sexual intercourse almost exclusively on genital stimulation and this exercise makes it easier to add elements making sex more fun.

• With this exercise we are able to give and receive pleasure without feeling guilt and without the need for counterparts. since the stimulation will be reciprocal. In this way, we combat that macho role on the active role that men must play in terms of taking the initiative and responsibility of the relationship and the supposed passive role of women. Enjoying both passive and active roles enriches the relationship.

• It also helps us to keep the mind in "erotic mode". If we manage to keep our attention on the caresses and the sensations that this produces during the exercise, we will be able to train the mind to be in it. present and avoid unproductive thoughts, norms or beliefs that do not facilitate relaxation, something very common when dysfunctions appear sexual. (A selection of erotic phrases, here).
• It is a technique of choice for certain sexual problems, since it allows working on basic objectives such as the deconditioning of anxiety associated with sexual intercourse characteristic of these problematic.

In short, a different exercise that allows us to relax and connect with our partner. In the next article we will discuss the variants offered by the Placereado 2 and 3 and their practical applications.

Bibliographic references:

• Masters, W, H. and Johnson, V.E. (nineteen ninety six). Human sexual response. Buenos Aires. Inter-medical.