Why it is necessary for your partner to know your authentic "I"

It is clear that communication is essential in couple relationships, but it is not everything; there is something else. As much as information flows between two lovers, these data can be misinterpreted. And this happens more frequently than it might seem, among other things, because when it comes to forming a mental image of our partner we are prone to build a biased version of it.

It actually makes sense that this is the case, since as in the context of a romantic relationship there are many emotions and feelings at play. The implications of imagining the other person in one way or another has serious consequences on what we experience, and therefore Consequently, the human brain directs this process of creating the concept of the other so that, in part, it adjusts to what we it agrees.

However, this biased view of the other is also maintained, in part, because for a relationship to enjoy good health and not be dysfunctional it is totally necessary to achieve that the other person gets to know our true self, to give you the opportunity to accept it.

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Why does it matter that your partner knows your authentic "I"

Achieving a good degree of rapport with the couple goes far beyond appearances, the fact that everyone sees that "there is chemistry" between you. In fact, that the couple knows who we really are is something that is not only good; It is necessary for the relationship to have a solid foundation. Below you can find the reasons for this.

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1. Understand who the couple really is

People are not just their bodies, their words, and their actions. Behind each of them there are intentions, concerns, life priorities and their own way of perceiving reality. It is therefore a stratum of identity that is deeper than what we see and hear from the other person. Getting to understand well what this I consists of requires effort, but it is a totally necessary sacrifice.

Creating an emotional bond like that of a romantic relationship assumes that the person with whom our partner has fallen in love really exists beyond their imagination.

2. Anticipate the needs of the other

A good part of what it means to live together is to make life easier for each other, to minimize tired situations. Although we can idealize relationships, they will be dysfunctional if their members do not complement each other on a daily basis. If you don't really understand the other, many attempts to help you will be wrong.

3. Really support the other

That they understand your true "I" implies that the other person really understand what are the life projects that matter to you Really. That way, it can support you in making decisions that would seem unreasonable to anyone else but that actually respond to the internal logic of what you want for your life.

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4. Obtaining validation

Human beings do not like to feel that we are isolated and that we exist in a vacuum. If the couple understands us, they know how to authentically and effectively validate us; instead of constantly complimenting (which would make them lose their value), they offer expressions of admiration and affection in a more appropriate way, where they fit, instead of flooding everything with them.

5. More than the individual is created

When our identity really connects with the other, we become part of something that is beyond ourselves. This is an important source of purpose in life that nurtures good health of the couple. Of course, at no time do we stop being people with our own concerns and sensibilities, but a part of us projects beyond individuality.

6. You understand yourself better

From the experience of the other with our true self, we learn about ourselves; We cannot stay on the sidelines due to how someone reacts to the idea that we exist, that we are there and we are real beyond all conventions and appearances. In turn, this information It serves to perform more in the Emotional Intelligence necessary to manage the relationship and its potential conflicts that can cause you to stumble.

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You give rejection a chance

The simple fact of making the other really know us exposes us to the possibility of rejection. This, in itself, is a sign of commitment, maturity and responsibility. The relationship that emerges from that context will be authentic, as long as this dynamic is symmetric: the other person must also discover himself as he is, give an opportunity to decide on what he really is.