Long distance relationships: 10 problems that are hard to bear

Long-distance relationships are an increasingly phenomenon in an interconnected and globalized world. The mass use of the Internet multiplies the opportunities to meet someone residing in a country distant and, as always, love does not understand approaches based on the utility of starting a relationship with a person.

However, some defend that the possibility of maintaining contact with someone who lives far away or who has the option of emigrating every day it's actually a trap. On the one hand, it makes it possible to meet a lot more people, but on the other it easily leads to frustration. It is possible that several decades ago the practical impossibility of maintaining relationships at a distance led us to live more isolated, but at least those whom we knew, normally, we could see them more frequently, since they lived in the same town, city or region.

And it is that maintaining relationships at a distance is a psychological challenge.

Problems inherent to long-distance relationships

People in long-distance relationships often speak of the early stages as a period in which

the illusion of falling in love it is mixed with the anticipation of problems that will arise later from being separated from the partner. They feel "hooked" or "trapped" in an unforeseen situation but that little by little has become an extra concern: making the relationship viable.

All relationships in general can be the source of certain problems of greater or lesser intensity, but relationships to Distance, in particular, have some characteristics that make them more likely to encounter certain obstacles or situations uncomfortable. These are the main ones.

1. Uncertainty

The perception that the distance between two people is in itself a source of problems that will always be there as long as the relationship is at a distance is, paradoxically, another problem. This is so whye serves as an excuse for pessimistic thoughts to appear, anticipations of a traumatic love outcome or a rarefied environment that little by little will distance the members of the couple.

2. Possible source of lack of commitment

By assuming that the chances that the relationship will not prosper are high, lovers are more likely to be reluctant to actually commit, for what it could happen. Somehow, our expectations about what will happen in the future affect how we feel in the present, making us "adapt" so as not to expose ourselves so much to receiving a severe psychological blow.

This can be perceived by the other person as a lack of interest, which generates arguments and general discomfort.

3. Jealousy

Jealousy is not an essential ingredient in romantic relationships, but people predisposed to be jealous have their Achilles heel in long distance relationships, in which information about what the other person does is scarce. If this jealousy passes a certain threshold, the paranoid thoughts cause the person to adopt a possessive and totally toxic role, which hurts her partner.

• Related article: "Unhealthy Jealousy: 10 Common Signs Among Extremely Jealous People"

4. The planning of the meetings

The need to keep in mind a schedule of encounters in which the sacrifices made by both members of the couple are equal is a source of stress. In many cases it is a slight annoyance, but In other cases, combining studies and work with these escapades can generate real stress crises..

5. The feeling of guilt

In some long distance relationships guilt is one of the frequent sources of discomfort. The reason is that sometimes some people think they are not doing enough to see their partner more often and to make the days spent being physically together good taken advantage of.

Perfectionism and the desire to make these periods compensate for the annoyance of being apart for a long time make disappointment and frustration often appear when (idealized) expectations have not been met proposals.

6. Problems enjoying time together

The anticipation of the provisional goodbye means that on many occasions the time spent with the couple is not enjoyed. For example, if you plan a week-long getaway in a foreign country, it may be that during the last two or three days the sadness seize the experience.

This makes it more difficult to turn the moments together into something happy, which little by little is associated with the unhappiness attributable to a partner that does not suit us.

7. Lack of physical contact

It is one of the big drawbacks, and is based on the lack of moments of intimacy, eye contact and caresses that are usually necessary not only to feel good, but also to make the relationship mature and mutual knowledge to be enriched thanks to non-verbal language.

8. The limitations of communication channels

The communication channels through which contact is maintained in a long-distance relationship can present problems: infrequency of telephone calls, lack of coverage, limitations in access to Internet, etc. This can generate stressful situations at specific times in which you come to think that the other person could be having problems.

8. Ignorance of social circles

On many occasions, the members of a long-distance relationship are in areas that are halfway from the places of residence of both, or they spend time together alone. This means that they do not get to know well the social circles in which the other person moves, losing the opportunity not only to make new friends but also to see the social aspect of her partner from another point of view.

10. The potential boredom

The aforementioned inconveniences, added to the fact that he often spends time alone, make these moments of direct contact occur in a context of isolation and, at times, a certain monotony. A cost-benefit analysis can make moments spent together seem insignificant or irrelevant.