The essentials to consider when looking for a partner

Search and find a partner It is a process that is often considered one of the most important elements of life. Shaping a romantic life in the company of someone not only changes one life, it actually changes two.

That's why it's good identify what kind of characteristics and aspects are the ones that are most important to pay attention to to choose to be with the right person.

The most important thing when looking for a partner

It is clear that the world of couple relationships is so varied and complex that, in practice, we have in counts many variables when deciding if we like someone enough to bond with that person. Physical appearance, closeness or distance to where we live, their circles of friends, etc. However, it is necessary to remember that we are only able to identify many of these elements when we detect that the potential partner could fail in any of them. What about those characteristics that we take for granted?

In them is the key to making the choice of partner come to fruition or not. There are fundamental elements about the other that, although we do not realize it, we optimistically estimate irrational way, as if the couple had some kind of natural obligation to fit in with our schemes.

Attraction is not the most relevant

Know how to identify these personal characteristics that we imagine and put them in doubt by contrasting them with what we see it will make those minimum requirements of what we need a person to have to be with her serve, effectively, as minimum requirements, and not as something that is understood.

Of course, by themselves they will not be enough to guarantee that the couple's bond will be strong and lasting, but at least we will not be letting chance decide if we are compatible with the other person or not.

And what are the minimum requirements?

1. Communication styles

A relationship is, basically, a dynamic of communication and shared affection. If the first fails, the second will soon do as well. That is why all conflicts and frictions that may appear in a relationship must be well communicated, and for this it is essential examine the communication style of the potential partner.

Honesty and transparency are not elements that are valued in romantic relationships simply because they prevent the appearance of infidelities for a prolonged period; They are also a guarantee that possible problems that may appear along the way can be detected and managed as a couple, without letting them become encrusted or lead to misunderstandings.

2. Similarity

When building a long-term relationship, it is essential to assess how our personality fits with that of our partner. Ultimately, the love bond should always be there, and that includes situations that are not very romantic.

In addition, it must be taken into account that the myth that opposites attractit's just that, a myth. In psychology there is much evidence that indicates that the most prosperous and long-lasting couples are those in which both people have more handsome personalities. In this way, the customs and interests of each of them will not cause a emotional withdrawal (and physical, in the case of non-shared hobbies) does not end up wearing out the relationship.

3. Vital and intellectual stimulation

When the idealization of the couple ends, what is left? It's very easy to fill in those blanks about what we know about the other person with all kinds of romantic fantasies, but once the long enough to see that neither our partner is as cultured and intelligent as he seemed at first, nor does he know how to manage his emotions as well as we believed, there must be something left of her that keeps trapping us.

Normally that "something" has to do with the way of thinking of that person, their interests and areas of knowledge that make them curious and, of course, with her sense of humor. These are elements that do not depend on something that is quantifiable and that therefore it is difficult for us to idealize: either they are present or they are not.

4. Their fears

The fears of a potential partner are what can end up pushing her away if they are not compatible with the type of relationship you want to have. That is why, when we meet someone special, it is important to know what you do not want, what you are trying to avoid.

Of course, these fears can change over time, but in any case at first there is nothing to us. guarantee that, in case of change, they will do so in the sense that we wish to form a functional couple.

For example, something as simple as the presence of certain personal ambitions could be something that intimidates the partner in certain cases, as revealed by various investigations.