The psychological consequences of emotional dependence
People who suffer from emotional dependence They will describe how their emotions are at the expense of their partner in an inordinate way. Any minute detail can be taken as a sign that something is wrong in the relationship and cause enormous suffering in the person who has this problem.
It should be noted that emotional dependence is not love, but an excessive dependence on the partner hidden behind the core belief that "life ends without that person."
How can I know if I am emotionally dependent?
People who have this problem often manifest some of the beliefs discussed below:
The fear of breaking up or being abandoned by your partner is often present. This in many cases leads to an excess of control of the couple, in order to avoid any event that could damage the relationship.
With the purpose of avoid breakup, the person with emotional dependence will forgive many things that he did not see himself able to ignore before starting the relationship. It is common to find that the partner is not accepted as it is, however, it is intended to ignore this in the hope that one day it will change.
Many times, the dependent person becomes isolated from the rest of the world voluntarily. His desire is to be permanently with his partner, which becomes his top priority while the rest of his relationships take a back seat.
The need for constant displays of love is also another manifestation that such a problem may exist. And failing that, any sign that can be interpreted in such a way that the couple is not their priority, can be experienced as a terrible betrayal or a great threat to the relationship.
Transform your personality or style in order to please your partner. The reference point on which to act is the other. At times, you can idealize some characteristics of the declining couple of your own.
At the end of it all, the dependent person feels that he needs his partner. This is not a real need, but the person does experience it as such.
What are the short-term consequences of experiencing emotional dependency?
The first consequence at first glance is that these people live with great suffering. They can spend all day controlling their partner, aware of what she does or does not do and having a few increasingly intense emotional reactions when the partner does not show himself as the dependent person expects him to make.
In any relationship, it is easy for our partner to end up behaving at some point in a way that we do not like and still continue despite the upsets and anger. The dependent person may observe that, despite her complaints, her partner does not change. This may have a detrimental impact on their self-esteem, since they may fall into the error of not considering themselves sufficiently "[email protected]”As for his partner to change for him or her.
In fact, self-esteem and emotional dependence are closely related to each other and, in addition, they feed back to each other. Having a strong self-esteem can work as a protective factor against emotional dependence since the beliefs we have discussed above lose their meaning.
People who suffer from a low self-esteem They end up transmitting their "need" for love to their partner. By showing needy, they will go beyond all existing limits and accept situations that do not are to his liking as long as he does not lose his partner, which can end up generating very toxic.
Abuse can be present at times, although we are not talking about physical abuse as such. There may be humiliations, coercion, and manipulation that will be overlooked in order to continue the relationship.
When to ask for help?
In many cases the consequences of emotional dependence are trivialized. However, the person who has this problem ends up finding that many areas of his life are affected as a result.
Many people leave jobs or make important life decisions based on their partner's wants and needs, regardless of what they really want themselves. It is also very common that other personal relationships such as friends and family are put aside, to devote all available time to their partner, so that their social circle in many cases is seriously reduced.
In addition to that these relationships tend to become very toxic, so in the end we can see that a large part of life can be disrupted as a result of this problem. If you feel like you've entered a loop that you don't know how to get out of, maybe it's time to ask for help.
